What I love most about my stay here in Buffalo, is the pleasure of sitting at the dining table, and looking out at the innumerable joys, unfolding before my eyes, at different times, throughout each day. Its like watching a movie, with its various vignettes, and the expectancy of what comes next.I spend a lot of time there, because old age has given me the greatest gift in life, the ability to sit down, and enjoy, whatever comes my way, and nothing, or no one can come in the way, of my thoughts, or choices.A nice hot cup of tea, and something to write on, is the perfect combination, for fulfilment, and true mental peace. And I treasure that.
Life here is truly crazy, and the constant running around, unending chores,and innumerable demands on personal time, takes a very heavy toll,and each day just merges into another,just a mere spoke, in the grinding wheel of life.I wonder how people manage to live it this way, day in, and day out, year in, and year out.In the chapter of my life, where I dealt with family, home, husband, marriage,and all social commitments,I always made time for myself, my own slot in daily life, where only I and my desires existed.It was my "ME " time, and my own world, where I indulged in whatever my heart desired, at that moment.It may have been reading a book, listening to music,cooking, knitting, writing, or any of the other innumerable things I've always loved doing.It provided the mental pleasure and peace, that is so very essential, to handle endless demands and duties, with energy, and enthusiasm.If the inner person is happy, life becomes enjoyable, but without it, very mechanical, and dull.But perhaps ,here, the choices are very limited,and demands overpowering.
While I sit in my favourite place, looking out, I see the lovely trees, in various shades of vibrant colours, swaying in the breeze, showing off their splendid fall colours, burgundy, light yellow, burnt orange, or just in the process of wearing their look of the season, a great feast for the eyes.And then, huge furry grey squirrels, come into the yard, to eat berries off their favourite tree, which is loaded now, but will soon disappear, when snow comes in, to cover them. So they have to hurry, before it is too late.Beautiful birds, small or big, in various different colours, keep chirping to each other,busy in their own world,and providing me with the beauty, that fills my canvass of life. And my tea provides the right touch to this great experience.
Many of my friends constantly ask me, how I spend my time, when I visit, and how do I endure the "boredom" that visiting parents face. And my answer is simple, enjoy what you get, cherish what comes your way, and live it, with thanks, happiness, and grace,because its living life that is the biggest education, and the true test of a person. Thankfully, God has blessed me with the ability to enjoy, and savour life, which I do, with great energy, and spirit, so each day, opens new vistas for me, and fills my data bank with precious memories.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
LITTLE THINGS MATTER MOST
My two year old grandson, follows me around like my shadow, and will just not let me out of sight, even for a single minute.I have to play with him, run around,(I'm 70, remember?)sing, dance, read endless stories from books of his choice,and entertain him, in every possible way.He is a very sunny child, but with well defined opinions, very clear likes, and dislikes, and makes his decisions very vocally, always with a sweet smile, and an american accented thank you.His manners are perfect,and gets me to do things I have never done, very smoothly.And looking at him, I always wonder, why children are looked upon as helpless, poor little things, when they are extremely smart, capable, and clever, and know exactly how to handle each and very family member, according to his needs.
His mother is there to attend to his daily, basic needs, like food/sleep/ bath/ potty/ school. After that, ever since I have come, its almost a week now,he turns to me, for all the fun. If I want to watch TV, he insists that I take him to my room upstairs, and play.Disturbance is never allowed, or enjoyed, and taking him away from his little world, in that room, is almost like a crime. How dare you? Thats the question in his bright dark eyes.And the more I see him, I wonder at the innocense of such a little person.He has created his own world, where he is extremely happy, does exactly what pleases him, and doesn't encourage, or allow anyone, or anything, to interfere in his thoughts and actions,living life on his own terms.
How many adults can even imagine doing anything in this way?Isn't adulthood all about always trying to please everyone, for everything, at all times, and never giving importance to the most important person in life, the one inside?How many of us even listen to our inner voice,and live life according to our own desires, and not always fitting in with the expectations of others?I think we all can learn very valuable lessons, from the little kids all around us, and enjoy life, instead of making it the drudgery it becomes, for almost everyone.
His mother is there to attend to his daily, basic needs, like food/sleep/ bath/ potty/ school. After that, ever since I have come, its almost a week now,he turns to me, for all the fun. If I want to watch TV, he insists that I take him to my room upstairs, and play.Disturbance is never allowed, or enjoyed, and taking him away from his little world, in that room, is almost like a crime. How dare you? Thats the question in his bright dark eyes.And the more I see him, I wonder at the innocense of such a little person.He has created his own world, where he is extremely happy, does exactly what pleases him, and doesn't encourage, or allow anyone, or anything, to interfere in his thoughts and actions,living life on his own terms.
How many adults can even imagine doing anything in this way?Isn't adulthood all about always trying to please everyone, for everything, at all times, and never giving importance to the most important person in life, the one inside?How many of us even listen to our inner voice,and live life according to our own desires, and not always fitting in with the expectations of others?I think we all can learn very valuable lessons, from the little kids all around us, and enjoy life, instead of making it the drudgery it becomes, for almost everyone.
Monday, October 12, 2009
LOVE MAKES THE JOURNEY WORTHWHILE
After months of hectic preparations,lots of planning,and innumerable things to attend to, I have arrived in Buffalo, to a very loving, warm welcome, from my son and his family, specially the darling children. Buffalo is well known for its severe, and almost never-ending winter,and for a visitor from India, extremely cold, on any given day. But I love winter, and enjoy going out in heavy jackets given by my grandsons,warm with the love that is in it.They have provided me, with every possible garment I may need, to make my stay comfortable, and that is what family, and love is all about.And the reason behind my happily,and excitedly, taking on a huge, long journey, to get here.
I have come across many, who do not like to visit their children, because of the long,tedious journey, and the sitting,and waiting involved.But for me, these are very small incidents, in comparison to the warmth that awaits me, when I arrive, and that keeps pulling me, like a magnet.What is family after all?Its all about being there for each other,with love, care, respect,compassion, and sensitivity,and providing the strength and comfort, each person requires, at every step in life.Thankfully, God has given this gift to me,and also the ability to live my life my own way,which is indeed a great blessing.
So now, my tryst with Buffalo is on,and I have a lot of plans to enjoy myself.Scouting, and scouring around, for gifts for my beautiful home,buying lovely decorative wool, and knitting striking sweaters for everyone I know, walking around, enjoying the changing colours on the trees, proudly showing off the grandeur of fall,eating warm pancakes with ham, and eggs, in the famous pancake house all around,and so much more.Its after all, a question of attitude,that makes a situation enjoyable, and, for me, the beauty of life is in the living.So, I'm always concerned about living with energy, quality, excitement,productivity,and of course, a lot of fun, because smiles make all the difference to everything, and everyone.
So, lets create our own joys, with whatever we get, live with energy, and passion, and savour the precious moments that come our way.For true happiness comes from a smile, a hug, a look of approval, the strength of presence, appreciation, and the unspoken, unwritten message,"I am always there for you!"The severe winter of Buffalo, cannot dampen the warmth of the love, that surrounds me, at all times, during my stay,and I truly cherish these precious moments, that come my way.
I have come across many, who do not like to visit their children, because of the long,tedious journey, and the sitting,and waiting involved.But for me, these are very small incidents, in comparison to the warmth that awaits me, when I arrive, and that keeps pulling me, like a magnet.What is family after all?Its all about being there for each other,with love, care, respect,compassion, and sensitivity,and providing the strength and comfort, each person requires, at every step in life.Thankfully, God has given this gift to me,and also the ability to live my life my own way,which is indeed a great blessing.
So now, my tryst with Buffalo is on,and I have a lot of plans to enjoy myself.Scouting, and scouring around, for gifts for my beautiful home,buying lovely decorative wool, and knitting striking sweaters for everyone I know, walking around, enjoying the changing colours on the trees, proudly showing off the grandeur of fall,eating warm pancakes with ham, and eggs, in the famous pancake house all around,and so much more.Its after all, a question of attitude,that makes a situation enjoyable, and, for me, the beauty of life is in the living.So, I'm always concerned about living with energy, quality, excitement,productivity,and of course, a lot of fun, because smiles make all the difference to everything, and everyone.
So, lets create our own joys, with whatever we get, live with energy, and passion, and savour the precious moments that come our way.For true happiness comes from a smile, a hug, a look of approval, the strength of presence, appreciation, and the unspoken, unwritten message,"I am always there for you!"The severe winter of Buffalo, cannot dampen the warmth of the love, that surrounds me, at all times, during my stay,and I truly cherish these precious moments, that come my way.
Monday, October 5, 2009
THE FLIGHT OF TIME
I have heard many people say, that they are terribly bored with life,and suffer from lethargy, disinterest,and dullness.And this situation arises because, after their household duties are done, when the children have gone on to lead their own lives, they find they have nothing to do,are totally lost,and a terrible vacuum is created.But for me, life has always been an exciting adventure,and living every moment with spirit,energy, enthusiasm,and passion, makes my days just fly past,and trying to keep in step, is a constant battle.
The frenzy of Durga Pujo is just over,and Bijoya is going on,which means lots of sweets are being made,and consumed. And, since my sweets are very popular, I am making various different ones, every day.But I am also preparing to go to Buffalo,US, to have a wonderful holiday with my grandchildren. It is a huge trip,involving many hours of travelling,lots of preparations,plenty of work at home,and tremendous running around.Each morning, I make a list of all the things that need to be tackled, in order of their importance,and start moving.And after hours of going to innumerable different destinations, return home, totally drained,and find something else, waiting to be tackled.And this has been going on for the last several days.
While I am there, lots of special days will be celebrated, so buying gifts for each one, is a huge,and very puzzling task.Once again a lot of running goes on,from one store to another, trying to pick something appropriate,and quite often, it turns out to be a total waste of time.Yet, the search goes on, because it is for very special people,who deserve only the best.
So right now, my days are flying at top speed, and there are too many things to tackle,but very little time. But, travelling is something I love, and enjoy,and so, I am looking forward to visiting the famous Blue Pottery Store at Schipol airport, during my halt there.This is a new route for me, so it will be nice. I have passed through Schipol many times before, but that was a long time ago. I'm sure there will be a lot of changes well worth it.And from there, I go to Toronto, where I will meet those, I am dying to see,my darling grandchildren. Their little faces are like magnets, and can make me do anything.
So , am making the most,of the little time I have,before Friday 9th. when I leave.But wherever I look, something is waiting to be tackled,and I hav eto plunge in. But inspite of the frenetic pace of my life, I love every moment,and hope I can live it this way, till the end."The living of life,is an education in itself!"Also,"departing,leave behind me,footsteps on the sands of time!"
The frenzy of Durga Pujo is just over,and Bijoya is going on,which means lots of sweets are being made,and consumed. And, since my sweets are very popular, I am making various different ones, every day.But I am also preparing to go to Buffalo,US, to have a wonderful holiday with my grandchildren. It is a huge trip,involving many hours of travelling,lots of preparations,plenty of work at home,and tremendous running around.Each morning, I make a list of all the things that need to be tackled, in order of their importance,and start moving.And after hours of going to innumerable different destinations, return home, totally drained,and find something else, waiting to be tackled.And this has been going on for the last several days.
While I am there, lots of special days will be celebrated, so buying gifts for each one, is a huge,and very puzzling task.Once again a lot of running goes on,from one store to another, trying to pick something appropriate,and quite often, it turns out to be a total waste of time.Yet, the search goes on, because it is for very special people,who deserve only the best.
So right now, my days are flying at top speed, and there are too many things to tackle,but very little time. But, travelling is something I love, and enjoy,and so, I am looking forward to visiting the famous Blue Pottery Store at Schipol airport, during my halt there.This is a new route for me, so it will be nice. I have passed through Schipol many times before, but that was a long time ago. I'm sure there will be a lot of changes well worth it.And from there, I go to Toronto, where I will meet those, I am dying to see,my darling grandchildren. Their little faces are like magnets, and can make me do anything.
So , am making the most,of the little time I have,before Friday 9th. when I leave.But wherever I look, something is waiting to be tackled,and I hav eto plunge in. But inspite of the frenetic pace of my life, I love every moment,and hope I can live it this way, till the end."The living of life,is an education in itself!"Also,"departing,leave behind me,footsteps on the sands of time!"
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
FESTIVAL FRENZY
From August to October, it is considered to be the festival season here in India, and for me, the best part of the year.I am very careful to see, that I never make plans to go anywhere, at this time of the year,because I love the excitement,and totally chaotic conditions, at home,and outside,which is a natural outcome of this season.Pune has become a very crowded city,but at this time,there are lots of visitors from all over,who come to enjoy the festivities,and join their families,friends,and relatives, to really live it up.
For me, festivals arouse very nostalgic memories, and create the yearning, for lovely moments, which are ever fresh, but cannot be associated with modern times,and that is truly a pity.As far as I can remember, the coming of a festival could be felt months in advance, when my mother would sit down to decide, the kinds of dresses each child would wear, what sweets would be made, and which places were to be visited, to enjoy each festival. For Janmashtami, it was always the grand,gorgeous, Birla Mandir of Delhi,where the celebrations have to be seen, to be believed,and all visitors ,freely moved around the exquisite temple,to worship,sit around,or enjoy the various kinds of delicious food, available there.Their chaat was to die for,and thats where I would head for,as soon as I was allowed.But today,this temple is like a fortress,and constant vigilance, at every step, makes it a very claustrophobic experience. But there is no choice, the world today is a very different place, from what it was,in my childhood.
During Durga Pujo, we loved visiting various different pandals, wearing the pretty frocks specially tailor made for us,and the joy of that was enough. We were given a little pocket money, morning,and evening, to eat from the food stalls,and that was a great excitement for us children.
Although things are very different now, I still continue to be a very hard core pandalite, and love roaming around,from one pandal, to the other, meeting my friends,enjoying a cup of very sugary tea, small hot samosas, and the endless adda, that is second nature to us all,specially with me.The swish of new saris, and elegant,trendy dhoties,the latest in designer dresses, and the colours,smells, and hullabaloo associated with these pandals, is a feeling that has to be experienced,and savoured.and is a second nature with all Bengalis. But I love the whole package deal, will not miss it for anything,and inspite of the huge crowds, the jostling,and pushing on the streets,and frenzy at home, its the best time of the year,and my most favourite moments ever.
For me, festivals arouse very nostalgic memories, and create the yearning, for lovely moments, which are ever fresh, but cannot be associated with modern times,and that is truly a pity.As far as I can remember, the coming of a festival could be felt months in advance, when my mother would sit down to decide, the kinds of dresses each child would wear, what sweets would be made, and which places were to be visited, to enjoy each festival. For Janmashtami, it was always the grand,gorgeous, Birla Mandir of Delhi,where the celebrations have to be seen, to be believed,and all visitors ,freely moved around the exquisite temple,to worship,sit around,or enjoy the various kinds of delicious food, available there.Their chaat was to die for,and thats where I would head for,as soon as I was allowed.But today,this temple is like a fortress,and constant vigilance, at every step, makes it a very claustrophobic experience. But there is no choice, the world today is a very different place, from what it was,in my childhood.
During Durga Pujo, we loved visiting various different pandals, wearing the pretty frocks specially tailor made for us,and the joy of that was enough. We were given a little pocket money, morning,and evening, to eat from the food stalls,and that was a great excitement for us children.
Although things are very different now, I still continue to be a very hard core pandalite, and love roaming around,from one pandal, to the other, meeting my friends,enjoying a cup of very sugary tea, small hot samosas, and the endless adda, that is second nature to us all,specially with me.The swish of new saris, and elegant,trendy dhoties,the latest in designer dresses, and the colours,smells, and hullabaloo associated with these pandals, is a feeling that has to be experienced,and savoured.and is a second nature with all Bengalis. But I love the whole package deal, will not miss it for anything,and inspite of the huge crowds, the jostling,and pushing on the streets,and frenzy at home, its the best time of the year,and my most favourite moments ever.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
MEMORIES ARE MADE OF THIS
One of my sons will be celebrating his birthday tomorrow,and I too am spending all my time, going over the beautiful memories we share, between us. Does a mother ever stop being a mother?I don't think so,and I've always referred to myself as a professional mother,because mothering is the only thing I am good at,greatly enjoy, and find very fulfilling.A mother has this very uncanny ability, to always know, exactly what goes on , in the childs mind, and although my child, is over forty(sorry dear!), I still love to do little things for him,like cooking his favourite dish,and watching him enjoy it,or give him a little gift,that only I know will please him,etc.Its just a mother and son thing, instinctive,inborn,and indelible.
Unfortunately, in todays modern, and so-called smart,fast-paced world, many mothers have been tossed out of the son's life, and he has walked out, in search of his fortunes, and his mother has no place in his life..But even this fractured relationship, cannot separate a mother from her son,because she continues to love him through her tears,prays to God to look after him,and also for his success in life. That is the strength of the bond---its always there,and will continue to be the cushion, that is life's integral part.
My son Manna, was in a great hurry to enter the world,and did so, under very dramatic conditions. For ten days before his entry, I was unwell,and the night before, there was a terrific storm, while I continued to have strong pains. Going out was completely impossible,but he wasn't willing to wait. So, as soon as it was morning, I was rushed to the hospital,and before the doctor could even get ready to welcome him, he announced his arrival very loudly,very vocally.I knew then and there, that he would be a strong individual, and make his own decisions, though this one may have proved a big disaster, if we were even a fraction of an instant, late.He was very fair,very thin,but always smiled.
Our years together, have been very enjoyable,with a fair share of ups,and downs,we'ev fought very tough battles,and shared very soft,soothing,endearing moments. But through it all, our bond kept us going. I prayed for him to just go on his path,and be happy,and he also,tried to do his best for me. I've seen him handle all his problems with balance,self-control, and sensibility,and be a very caring,committed, extremely loving husband, father,and home-maker. Yes, thats right, usually women are referred to, as home makers, but Manna is a very good cook, and loves to experiment(I loved the delicious hot,mutton puffs he made for me,during my recent trip!)and also shares the housework. Since they live abroad, there is no house help,and sharing is imperative.He is also a doting father,and enjoys a wonderfully vibrant relationship with his lovely daughter.And most of all,is a very hilarious person!
Since I visit them regularly, I watch everything all the time,and store them in the data bank of my heart. And today, on his b'day, I pray to God, to grant him good health,mental peace,fulfillment,and help him to realise all his dreams. To give him the strength to keep moving,make the correct choices,and live his life with the values, ethics, and principles, instilled in him,by his parents,who loved him dearly. And now that his father is not around, I am playing the role of both, and watching him happy,and satisfied with himself,is the gift I'll always treasure. Happy b'day dear,may God always bless you!
Unfortunately, in todays modern, and so-called smart,fast-paced world, many mothers have been tossed out of the son's life, and he has walked out, in search of his fortunes, and his mother has no place in his life..But even this fractured relationship, cannot separate a mother from her son,because she continues to love him through her tears,prays to God to look after him,and also for his success in life. That is the strength of the bond---its always there,and will continue to be the cushion, that is life's integral part.
My son Manna, was in a great hurry to enter the world,and did so, under very dramatic conditions. For ten days before his entry, I was unwell,and the night before, there was a terrific storm, while I continued to have strong pains. Going out was completely impossible,but he wasn't willing to wait. So, as soon as it was morning, I was rushed to the hospital,and before the doctor could even get ready to welcome him, he announced his arrival very loudly,very vocally.I knew then and there, that he would be a strong individual, and make his own decisions, though this one may have proved a big disaster, if we were even a fraction of an instant, late.He was very fair,very thin,but always smiled.
Our years together, have been very enjoyable,with a fair share of ups,and downs,we'ev fought very tough battles,and shared very soft,soothing,endearing moments. But through it all, our bond kept us going. I prayed for him to just go on his path,and be happy,and he also,tried to do his best for me. I've seen him handle all his problems with balance,self-control, and sensibility,and be a very caring,committed, extremely loving husband, father,and home-maker. Yes, thats right, usually women are referred to, as home makers, but Manna is a very good cook, and loves to experiment(I loved the delicious hot,mutton puffs he made for me,during my recent trip!)and also shares the housework. Since they live abroad, there is no house help,and sharing is imperative.He is also a doting father,and enjoys a wonderfully vibrant relationship with his lovely daughter.And most of all,is a very hilarious person!
Since I visit them regularly, I watch everything all the time,and store them in the data bank of my heart. And today, on his b'day, I pray to God, to grant him good health,mental peace,fulfillment,and help him to realise all his dreams. To give him the strength to keep moving,make the correct choices,and live his life with the values, ethics, and principles, instilled in him,by his parents,who loved him dearly. And now that his father is not around, I am playing the role of both, and watching him happy,and satisfied with himself,is the gift I'll always treasure. Happy b'day dear,may God always bless you!
MY RACE WITH LIFE
Hello all of you guyz,who visit my blog,read what I write,and cheer me on,though writing is something I love doing,and don't really need a push. But most people cannot even imagine the kind of life I live,specially when I am happily,and excitedly, preparing to step into my seventieth year.Yes, thats right,and at a time,when people are scared of crossing thirty, here I am,living life to the hilt,with lots of dreams,hopes,and aspirations to fulfill,and always working towards the next rung, on my ladder of personal achievements. I just keep moving towards the goals I set for myself,and continue to sing my own song,because,"A cuckoo sings,not because it has an audience,but because it has a song to sing!"And I have many songs to sing. I write my own words, tune it myself,and enjoy it too,thats how I travel in the journey of life.
This is the festival season, and my favourite Durga Pujo is just around the corner.All of us Bengalis,have very pleasant memories of pujo,and thats what makes it a great attraction to us.I remember in early childhood, I loved to wear the pretty frocks, my mother got tailored for me. There were new shoes, maybe a matching beaded necklace,and a little money, to eat at the food stalls,or buy a little toy,or trinket,from the balloonwallah, standing at the gate of the pandal.But all these brought so much pleasure to us,so much joy,that the thought of pujo, always brought on happy smiles,and till today,when I have four grandchildren,these days are very special to me,and I am always rearing to go to the pandals,and freak out.
However, with the passage of time,the simplicity has almost completely disappeared,and its more about flaunting monetary strength,and gettings things done. So now,designer saris and dresses are in vogue,mothers don't play any role in their selection.Men make it a point to go to well known boutiques in Kolkata, and wear the latest in haute couture.But the atmosphere of the pandals are more or less, the same,very vibrant, friendly,colourful,and crowded.
Believe it or not, even this year, I will be making a few hundred sweets,by public demand,and that is the crux of this piece.My days just fly past, hands are always full, and I have still not experienced boredom, which unfortunately, is the disease of most people,after the children leave for their chosen fields. But since I'm managing,I wish to keep going,although sometimes I yearn for a little break. But, God has other plans,and I have to go on. As Celine Dion has sung,"Climb every mountain,thats how my heart goes on!"
This is the festival season, and my favourite Durga Pujo is just around the corner.All of us Bengalis,have very pleasant memories of pujo,and thats what makes it a great attraction to us.I remember in early childhood, I loved to wear the pretty frocks, my mother got tailored for me. There were new shoes, maybe a matching beaded necklace,and a little money, to eat at the food stalls,or buy a little toy,or trinket,from the balloonwallah, standing at the gate of the pandal.But all these brought so much pleasure to us,so much joy,that the thought of pujo, always brought on happy smiles,and till today,when I have four grandchildren,these days are very special to me,and I am always rearing to go to the pandals,and freak out.
However, with the passage of time,the simplicity has almost completely disappeared,and its more about flaunting monetary strength,and gettings things done. So now,designer saris and dresses are in vogue,mothers don't play any role in their selection.Men make it a point to go to well known boutiques in Kolkata, and wear the latest in haute couture.But the atmosphere of the pandals are more or less, the same,very vibrant, friendly,colourful,and crowded.
Believe it or not, even this year, I will be making a few hundred sweets,by public demand,and that is the crux of this piece.My days just fly past, hands are always full, and I have still not experienced boredom, which unfortunately, is the disease of most people,after the children leave for their chosen fields. But since I'm managing,I wish to keep going,although sometimes I yearn for a little break. But, God has other plans,and I have to go on. As Celine Dion has sung,"Climb every mountain,thats how my heart goes on!"
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