MEN CAN BE BOYZ,ALWAYZ.

Father's Day has just been celebrated, by everyone,everywhere,at least I hope so,because I believe,that every act of love, must be appreciated,reciprocated,for it to continue growing.We start taking things for granted, or don't feel the need to count our blessings.And thats when relationships start getting stale,and lose their lustre.On Father's Day,I was with Manna in S'Pore,and throughout the day,many very touching incidents,over the years gone by, were continuously flashing before my eyes,and they were all about being loving,and kind.I must go over some of those,just to show,that even after moving on in life,with all its pressures,stresses,and strains, the love,care,compassion,and kindness, is very much existant,and their precious gift to me.

Let me start with Ashis.When he was about four, I was serving dinner to some guests who had come over,when I realised, I needed bread for breakfast the next morning. So I told everyone to continue,while I would run down,and get it.Suddenly,Ashis stopped eating,got down,put on his chappals and said,"You cannot go out alone,at night.I will come with you!"He took my hand,and started going down the stairs.I still get tears, whenever I think of this incident.

Manna was also very caring,kind,and attentive,and always making sure,I was alright.During Durga Puja,whenever he bought something for himself,he would come to me, to ask, if I wanted to share it with him.And once,we were on a trip to Kerala,and in Trivandrum,I suddenly came down with fever, due to the extreme heat.Manna was about two at the time.He came and took another pillow,right next to mine,lay down,and refused to leave me,till I recovered.I have a photograph of this lovely moment,preserved like a treasure.Innumerable such sweet,and touching incidents,filled my life with joy.And today, as I see them as fathers,or in the myriad roles they play,I can still see their love,and kindness,every step of the way,and that is the gift I cherish,and treasure.

I was in Buffalo,US, from Oct. 2009 to Jan.2010,in very extreme weather conditions.Heavy snow,completely home bound,and all movement very restricted.But Ashis would always organise things in such a way,that I could go out, and enjoy doing what I liked.Browsing in my favourite store Michaels,or Target,Kohls,or J.C Penny,take a walk in the Mall,or whatever I enjoyed.This caring makes a very huge difference to life.And when I was leaving,to reduce the tension in the air, he said,"Would you like to go out and choose some more red things for your home?I can take you!"Thanks Ashis, but no red thing can compare with the love,care,thoughtfulness,and kindness shown to me.Thats what I value most.

And while in S'Pore,even after leading an extremely hectic,stressful life,Manna would get up early,every Sat/Sun. to take me to lovely places,which are exquisite in the early mornings,and sit around patiently,while I did the photography,or enjoyed a walk.And he took leave from work,to spend a day, at the newly opened Universal Studios, specially for me,because I love such places.And many little incidents were constantly taking place,a reminder of the special relationship we share,and how much it is valued.

I can go on,and on,and on.But those who travel the journey of life,without losing their values,are on the right track,and when I am with my boys, I feel very blessed,and privileged,and pray to God to give them all the best in the world,so that they can live their lives, happily,peacefully,successfully.Because to me, these men will always be the special boyz in my life,my treasures,my joy,my wealth.Happy Father's Day,dears.Enjoy it. June 2010.

"You are old"

I thought this poem describes Tathoo very well, and I know she'll enjoy it!

"You are old, father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head
Do you think, at your age, it is right?

"In my youth," father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
And you have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door
Pray what is the reason for that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment one shilling a box
Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his fater, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose
What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs.
-Lewis Carroll

SPECIALLY FOR ASHIS,AND MANNA

While flipping through some magazines,during my stay in S'Pore,2010, I came across this poem,which was your father's favourite.And subsequently,he wrote it out, in his own handwriting,(computers didn't substitute human feelings then!),and I still have it,welll preserved, amongst my very personal,and precious possessions.But I'm putting it here, so it will occupy pride of place,and maybe,IF,when you read it,you will think of the person,and what he wished for you. Here it is----

IF, BY RUDYARD KIPLING

If you can keep your head,when all about you
Are losing theirs,and blaming it,on you,
If you can trust yourself,when all men doubt you.
But make allowance for their doubting too.


If you can wait,and not be tired of waiting,
Or being lied about,don't deal in lies,
Or being hated,don't give way to hating.
And yet don't look too good,nor talk too wise,


If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think,and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with triumph,and disaster,
And treat those two imposters just the same.


If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken,
Twisted by knaves, to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to,broken,
And stoop,and build them up, with worn out tools,

If you can make a heap of all your winnings,
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and -toss,
And lose,and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss.

If you can force your heart,and nerve,and sinew
To serve your turn,long after they are gone,
And so hold on,when there is nothing in you,
Except the Will,which says to them,'Hold on'!

If you can talk with crowds,and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings-nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes,nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you,but none too much.

If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the earth,and everything that's in it,
And which is more--you'll be a man,my son!

It would be a fitting tribute to a wonderful person,a great scholar,and a very loving father,if you showed this to your children,and they understood its inner meaning.They will learn about their grand father,my son!

TREASURED MOMENTS/S'PORE SUMMER 2010

People spend their whole lives,running after big things,when its the little things in life, that are important,and make a huge difference.I go for those little moments,or incidents,which fill my heart,and are a constant source of pleasure,carefully stored inside,and my personal wealth."For gold is cold,and lifeless,it can neither see,nor hear,And in the time of trouble,it is powerless to cheer!"And its the little persons in my life,who have filled it ,to the brim,with untold happiness,and made my life a very exciting,and joyful adventure.
Noyonika, who is twelve,loves sweets,and from the time I have arrived,has been after me,to make the ones she loves.And this morning,I prepared her favourite rangaloor puli,to give her a surprise,after she got up.And indeed she was.Her excitement knew no bounds,and she wore a big smile,as she savoured the inviting smell of what she had been waiting for.That she would have them for breakfast,made her day,and she was ready with her plate and spoon, to dig in.There was a box of sweets lying in front of her,from one of the reputed shops of S'Pore.She pushed it aside with a big smile and said,"Who wants you now,when the real thing is before me!"and took her first bite of the warm,juicy, pulis.And that moment will always be a very special memory for me,a priceless gift,from a very special person.Because children are very innocent,and spontaneous,and do not hesitate to say things as they are.An adult would not have reacted in this way, and even if a compliment is due,will be guarded about it.But she put her heart out,because her happiness knew no bounds,and gave me, a Kodak moment.Cooking is my passion,but its moments like these,that are truly prized,and make all my efforts worth it.My kitchen is my most favourite place, in the whole, wide world,but its little incidents like these,that add to its joy.
Another day,she and I, were gallivanting in the mall,as we often do,and when we came out we saw, it had been raining.Being a water sign,I love the rain,and happily said, that since we live across the road,it didn't matter.But she immediately held my hand tightly, and said,"Don't worry,I won't let you fall!"Believe me,it was one of the the most touching moments of my life,that too from a little child.And after that,she has told me, innumerable times,that she,and her cousins, Ayon,and Aryik,(my grandsons) will always look after me!Is there anything else that can be more precious than this?Not to me,and I wish adults took some lessons from children, on how to be caring,and kind.They could change the world,and reduce the tremendous disrespect,neglect,and abuse, faced by the elderly,in society today.But I am very thankful to God,for these "little" joys in my life,who make a "HUGE" difference,and play a very impressive,and indelible role in my life.