THE TOSS OF THE COIN-----SEPT.2011

From January this year,I'm constantly dealing with the death of persons, very dear to me,and with whom,I've moved very closely,intimately,for several years.I know that death is a reality,and must accompany birth,but when it hits people, who are excellent human beings,very devoted worshippers of God,who cannot hurt a fly,who could have led many years of a very fruitful,useful existence,looking after their families,the injustice of it all,is very defeating,& depressing.Why does it always happen to good people?What is the use of being good,when God will deal such a harsh blow?There are so many questions,bothering me ALL the time,to which I know, there are no answers.And so,I live with the feeling of intense helplessness,watching my friends die,slowly,surely,and the pain of visiting them is intense,and killing,but nothing compared to what they are going through.

Today is Sun.4th.Sept.2011,and I have just returned, after visiting Debashish,who is completely bed ridden,and cannot even move a finger.And the experience has devastated me beyond my imagination.More than 6ft.tall,a wonderful human being,very soft spoken,very kind,very helpful,very God fearing, and a wonderful father to his three excellent sons,he is confined to bed,completely dependant on life support systems,and the people around him.Just one year ago,I was visiting them in Chennai,where he held a very senior position in Ashok Leyland,and the care,thoughtfulness,and gentleness shown to me,was exemplary,and will always be a treasured memory.I could never,ever imagine,that one year later,he would be in this state.Every evening,after he returned from work,he would insist, that I accompany him, to different restaurants in Chennai,enjoying the various cuisines,as that would give him the opportunity to relish the food too.So we went to Buhari's,which is a landmark there,then for authentic South Indian delicacies,Karaikudi specialities,Chettinad food,the best dosas,it was just great.And his mother,my dearest Mashima,was so thrilled about it.And today?Thankfully,Mashima left in Jan.2011,and though I was devastated,I am grateful, she didn't have to see her only son,go through this.Why God ,Why?Why does such a good man,have to face this,and why should his family suffer so much pain?I can't look at the son's,because I know whats going on,inside them,and no one can do anything to help.And his wife?Did she deserve this?

My best friend in Chennai,Shyamolie,was suddenly diagnosed with breast cancer,had to go through an emergency mastectomy,is going through chemotherapy,and her life has been turned completely topsy turvy.She has faced a lot of ups,and downs, in her life,but handled them well,and just when things were improving,she lost her husband Arun,a gem of a man,and a very dear friend.Then it was mother,and son,both happy,living their own lives,and Amit took very good care of his mother.Things were just fine.And when I was with her,last year,2010,she was happily giving me all the details,about how God has been so kind to her,inspite of her losses.And then,this.I don't have any words, to express my sorrow,and anguish,at the pain these two,and more of my friends are facing,and its the helplessness,that makes it so cruel.

Life is like a coin,when it is tossed, one has to take what comes,God doesn't give a choice, but these experiences, have made me determined, to live my life,with much more devotion,passion,dedication,hard work,and to go the extra mile,to achieve my goal,because no one knows when life will come to a full stop.So, while feeling completely defeated,and distressed at the pain around me,involving very dear ones,and every visit is an exercise in self-control,I work harder all the time,spread love all the time,because "This minute is in our hands,the next one?We do not know!"

LIVING IS CONSTANT LEARNING! MAY 2011

Dear Manna, I don't know whether you will read this,because, in UR very BZ life,you may not find the time,or,perhaps you won't think it worthwhile, to spend it, on the musings an 'OLD' person.Specially UR mother!It is a strange fact of life, that most children, think their mothers to be,someone necessary around the house,but never think of her as a person,an individual,who has dreams,hopes,aspirations,and capabilities, beyond household work.Who loves her home,and family above ALL else,but also,loves to live her life,according to her vision,and is actually a very multi-faceted person.Anyway,instead of ranting,I will come straight to the point of my effort today.You have helped, me sort out a situation in my life,which was giving me a lot of worry,and I just didn't know what to do.But you have shown me the way,and I am really happy.I'm back on the rails once again.

After I shifted to Aundh,going for a walk had become a nightmare.This is a new,upcoming area,so there is a lot of construction going on, everywhere.There are no pavements,one has to walk on the roads,where the traffic is very heavy,being the Bombay-Pune highway.Having spent 32 years opposite the beautiful Kamala Nehru Park,was making it more miserable.There, I used to go for my walk around 9-30 AM,and loved every moment.The huge trees provided cool shade,so I could enjoy walking.But how was I going to sort this out here?In the evenings, it is impossible to walk anywhere, because of crowds,heavy traffic,and, because I live alone,for which I am the cynosure of all eyes,I didn't feel like doing it.But,not being able to go for a walk,was making me miserable.
But, my dear, you showed me the way,and I've learnt an important lesson from my child.You must be wondering what I'm raving,and ranting about?(MOTHER'S!) From early childhood,you've always been an ardent sports person,skilled at many,and enjoyed exercising.And you have continued that,inspite of a very gruelling skejule,and innumerable committments.Today when I see you, never missing out on UR exercise,no matter what, and whether it is going to the gym,or swimmimg,cycling,jogging,or playing some sport,you will do it,no excuses there.Just like your father!And I'm really proud of you,for being so dedicated about this.Because health IS wealth,no two ways about that.But what lesson have you taught me?

I thought about my problem at length,and wondered what you would have done.And then it clicked!I decided to get up at 5AM,go for a walk around 5-30,walk briskly for 45/50 mins.and return.And I've been doing that, successfully,for some time now.The weather at that time is lovely,very cool,no traffic,no horns blaring,no one coming in the way.Only lovely birds chirping away,and I am perfectly tuned to myself.Its a beautiful feeling.I'm thrilled to have found a way out from a situation that was bothering me,and you have taught me a very valuable lesson. Where there's a will,there's a way,and I've fought all problems, of heat,congested roads,too many people,a suitable timing, and found my way out.I'm happy,and enjoying myself,and I'm sending you a BIIIIIG hug, for showing me the way out.

MOTHER'S DAY, AN ETERNAL CELEBRATION--MAY 2011

Mother's Day is just around the corner,and the western world celebrates this day,with great fervour.In fact,these celebrations were virtually unknown in India, till a few years back,thanks to the publicity done by the card companies.And today, it has become a big occasion,with a lot of hype,and hoopla attached to it.But, I feel, that a mother is a mother, till the end of her days,and she plays her role to perfection,till the end of her days.The age,status,success,name,and fame of her child is totally immaterial,she always looks at him as her child,and nothing else matters,everything is unimportant.And the relationship between a mother and child, is sacred,special,unconditional,constant,and permanent,and it will NEVER change.
Today, Ashis is near 50,thats how the world sees him, also as the smart, hot shot executive,intelligent,capable,holding a good position,in a leading company.But to me, he's the tiny,wriggly baby, I brought home on a very stormy day,and both of us didn't know a thing about babies,how to handle them,or what to do.We learnt as we went along,and love was our only guide,mentor,and trainer.And he started his life, totally dependent on me.When he cried, he looked at me to soothe him,and when happy,he wanted to share it with me.I accompanied him on his first day at school,held him to my heart, to reassure him,and waited outside the classroom door to pick him up,after school,knowing he would feel lost, if he didn't see me.And his eyes were full of tears when he saw me,as if he said,"Why did you leave me here?"

From school to college,and further,he kept taking every step, with great confidence,and academic brilliance,but behind it all,mother and son shared innumerable soft,sweet, touching moments,which are the threads, that bind this very precious, relationship.I was always there, to soothe his fears,give him courage to go in his chosen direction,and applaud him,for his innumerable achievements.And he too,always stood with me,for everything,all the time.I was excited as a child when he got married,thrilled beyond measure when his children were born,enjoyed a lovely comraderie with his wife,and lived my role to the hilt,in all its various colours.He was my son, and I would be with him throughout his life,whenever,and wherever the need.And not only for the need,but because I will always be his mother.

Manna was a very thin,very fair child,with pitch black eyes,born early one morning,in the middle of a huge storm, in Chennai,and I took permission from the doctor, to allow Ashis to stay with me, in the hospital,while his father was away at work, so that he didn't feel lonely,and lost.And he loved his brother.He kept looking at him,wanted to hold him,and was curious as to why he didn't say anything.And then started a relationship that amazed everyone,Ashis was an exemplary elder brother,and mothered Manna, till he left home, for IIM Kolkata,when Manna was almost 18.And a beautiful friendship grew between us.We were very happy being together,and had lots of very enjoyable moments, as well as very tough, tragic ones too.Amid broken bones, hits, hurts, gashes,they grew up,and so did our relationship,and I've always stood with them,at every moment of their lives,watching their success, and also, their problems.But my love for them continues unchanged,unwavering,and is constant.

Today,as I get ready to celebrate Mother's Day,Innumerable little incidents flash before my eyes, like the scenes of a movie,that remind me, of our life together,which is our real strength.And when the world tells me, that they have their own lives,and I should stay away, I only want to say, that no matter where I am, or what I do,I will always be their mother, nothing,or no one ,can change that, and I will happily,proudly, stand up in this role,and celebrate every day as Mother's Day, because once a mother,always a mother.

SEVERING TIES--MOVING ON!

The whole of last week,my rainbow Tia Rani,and her mother Losita,were away, in two different places,different directions,different roles.Of course, they must have enjoyed themselves,while doing whatever they were supposed to do,on their respective trips.Tia is a bundle of energy,like me,(I love this comparison!), enjoys everything,while spreading her infectious charm,and smile loaded nature,all around her.Losita is a business woman,and since I'm not very knowledgeable in this area,I'll just say, that she was busy getting her work done,whatever it was.My son Manna, has been on his own, from Sept.1986,when he went to the US to study,and is quite adept at every angle of housework,and a very good cook,(like me!).This too I love!Then, what was the problem?Why was I constantly worrying about all of them,and waiting for them, to return home, to Singapore,and get back to their usual life?Because I'm a mother, and grandmother,and worrying is an occupational hazard of my job,specially because, we don't live together,so the only thing I can do, all the time is, worry."She NEVER learns to severe her ties,wherever her children,thats where her heart lies!"
But the world is very different now.Its all about I,Me and mine,and the younger generation is extremely insensitive towards the elderly.Emotions are ridiculed,and once the children have grown up,and moved on, thinking,and worrying, about them,wanting to be with them,or longing for their visit,to spend some time together, are all considered stupid,outdated notions."He's got his own life Aunty,and why should you sit here,and worry about them?"Why indeed! Because I'm his mother,and nothing,or no one on this earth,can change that,or make me forget it.I'll be his mother till I die,and I WILL worry about him,and his family,because they are ALL, a precious part of my life.

Just because he is a successful young man,perfectly capable of handling his life,and whatever comes his way,at home,and outside, do I cease to be his mother?Can I look at him from any other angle,or just forget about him?I wanted to talk to him every night,to find out if he has had his dinner,if things are OK,and how are Losita and Tia,is he feeling alright,and so many other questions.Why is it so difficult for others to understand, that "a mother,is a mother till the end of her days!"And why is it the norm, that thinking,worrying,and praying for the happiness of a child,is something to ridicule,or denigrate?

I was more worried about my darling Tia,because she is young,and when kids are in a crowd,it is always important to be watching over them,constantly,because an innocent move,can be damaging forever.Every night, I would see her pretty face,wreathed in smiles,planning some mischief,or the other,as any child would,and I'd send a silent prayer to God,to keep her safe,and happy.Here , the argument is, she has parents,who know what to do,so why should you worry?Why indeed?Because a grandchild, is more precious, than anything else,in this whole world,and she is my family.I am her grandmother,she is apart of my life,and world,and her well being will dictate my functioning.Can I forget all this, and just pretend to be unaffected by anything that goes on with them,just because my son has his own life,and knows what to do?Am I not a part of their life?
But now that they are back,we are all back to our lives,and things are in place once again.I just want the world, to TRY to understand, that a mother is a mother till the end of her days, her children are more precious to her, than her life,and the depth of love is measured by our feelings for each other,which are eternal.The child's age,status,financial capability,name,or fame, is not the defining factor to a mother,because he will always be my little boy, whom I brought home from the hospital,and who used to look deep into my eyes, for everything.That was where we got our understanding.Can I, or rather should I, just forget everything we have shared,and pretend it doesn't matter to me anymore?Because it does matter,and will,till I die. May 2011.

AN ENGLISH WEDDING/A PAGE IN HISTORY.

I've just spent four hours in front of the TV,enjoying a ringside view, of the biggest event, in the British royal family,after 30 years.And believe me, every moment was worth it.Some of my very dear,and close friends, joined me,and we had a whale of a time.I loved the excitement,and grandeur,and everything was conducted with so much perfection,that it was a feast for the eyes. William, the elder son of Prince Charles,and the porcelain doll,Diana,married his sweetheart of eight years,Kate Middleton,in a beautiful ceremony,that was dignified,graceful,and classy.Both looked wonderful,were perfectly behaved throughout,and never lost their balance,even for a single minute.Yes, they belong to the British royal family,where it is understood, that sobriety,demeanour,and perfect manners are ingrained,and expected,but, it was wonderful to watch them handle the occasion with so much charm.
I have had the good fortune of watching his grandmother,Queen Elizabeth's coronation,which was a very grand affair.And I remember the excitement it generated then.Her beautiful gown,jewel encrusted tiara,and the way she handled herself,at such an young age,was definitely worth the admiration it received.When Prince Charles was born,it was a huge celebration,followed by the births of the other children.Then Charles married the beautiful Diana,who looked like a Dresden doll on her wedding day,and Britain went wild.I've watched their two sons from birth, to their growing up years,darlings of their mother Diana,who loved looking after them,personally.And, when Diana died, in a terrible car crash, in France, their world came crashing down.The sight of the two little boys, walking forlornly,behind their mother's casket,and their bouquet, with a card, that said,"Mummy", broke every heart,and there wasn't a single dry eye.

But they've done well for themselves,and handled every situation with dignity. Prince Charles married Camilla,and the boys were completely supportive.They've been a good friend of their father,and enjoy their time together.So it was wonderful to see William get married,and both of them looked so happy,and peaceful together.But what impressed me most,was the behaviour of the huge crowds,assembled all along the route of the procession.They were very happy,extremely excited,enjoying themselves,and every bit of the ceremony,but in a very peaceful manner.No one was bothering anyone,it was all so organised,controlled,and decent. Hats off to all the people who were their,and showed the whole world, what decency,and politeness is all about.Very impressive,and something I will always remember.I wish the young couple, constant happiness, in their new life together,and it is their behaviour,grace,and charm, that will take them successfully,on their way.I firmly believe that behaviour is like a passport,it tells everything about the person. 29th.April.2011.

TO MASHIMA,WITH LOVE! APRIL 2011.

It happened so suddenly, that all of us,who had the good fortune,and privilege, of being in Mashima's life,were completely stunned,speechless,and unable to move.I remember every incident leading to that fateful moment,and I don't think I can ever forget,or pretend, it doesn't matter.Because it does!Its been a very big blow for me,and I'm still limping my way around,trying to handle the sudden emptiness inside me, that is all engulfing.I feel lonely,lost,blank,and miss her,every moment,of each day.People try to sympathise, to explain, that this is life,and it must go on , and I have to keep moving with it. But none of those people, shared,and enjoyed, a 15 yr. relationship,with one of the MOST outstanding,extraordinary,exemplary human beings ,God gifted me with,and who filled my life with happiness,and fulfilment, that I will always treasure,and cherish.Definitely some of the very BEST moments of my life.She showered me with deep love,and always stood with me,supporting,and comforting me,and giving me the strength,and courage to just keep going.Oh! God.How I miss her!Where will I find a friend,philosopher,and guide like her?

It was a Sunday,and I had gone with some friends, for a picnic ,to a lovely farm house,on the outskirts of Pune.It was a lovely experience, a very enjoyable day,and I returned home,in a very happy,satisfied mood.Here, I must say, that I have been very lucky, to have really good friends, who love me,care for me, and are always there, to help out, whenever the situation calls for it.And this picnic was specially organised, "Because you love going out,and will enjoy yourself!"Which indeed, I did!But,as soon as I returned, the phone rang,and I just fell into the nearest chair. My heart was thumping away, and my mind completely blank.No! This was just not possible!It cannot be true!No! No! No!I wanted to scream,but I felt as if I had lost my voice.From the other side, I vaguely heard a voice say,"UR Mashima just left!She has gone away!"Even as I write this, I feel as if my heart has been cut up in ribbons,and the blow,impossible to accept,or realise.Mashima gone?
But one has to face,accept,and be graceful about reality, no matter how impossible,or tough it may be,for that is the only way to go.And although I am well past 70,have faced many,very severe blows in life,I just couldn't stand up to this blow, which hit me more that I could have ever imagined.Because it was totally unexpected,sudden, when no one expected it.She was almost 90, but more active that a 50 yr.old,and her love knew no bounds.She greatly enjoyed looking after her whole family, and I was very special to her,a relationship, probably from our previous birth.This is what Hinduism teaches,and my father,and father-in-law, greatly believed in.They passed this belief to me,during my most memorable,and precious moments with them,as long as they lived.

I met Mashima,after they shifted into the apartment just below ours,and my neighbour said,"Aunty, a Bengali family has shifted here,have you met them?"No, I hadn't,but one day,while returning home,a very sweet elderly lady,looked at me, with a very warm,beautiful smile, and said,"Oh! You must be Jonaki! I've heard so much about you.Now I can get to know you better!"And indeed we did.From a very slow,cautious start,it soon blossomed into a wonderful friendship,and we were almost inseparable.Not a day went by,when we didn't see each other,shared our joys,and sorrows,ups,and downs,and always moved together.She was a great fan of my cooking,and I enjoyed making her favourite dishes,which she enjoyed,
effusively.She too was an excellent cook,and I marvelled at the ease, with which she turned out delicacies,at the drop of a hat.

But more than anything,Mashima was a person par excellence,an extraordinary human being,of grace,class,culture,and dignity,and took everything in her stride,both the good,and the bad.I loved and admired her,and she gave me so much love,that today,even in my loneliness, I feel honoured,and privileged, to have had her in my life,and spent beautiful years with her.After she left, for days, I was completely blank,my mind just refused to function,and I felt as if, half my body was gone.It was too difficult to handle,and, since I live alone, it was extra painful.I still wish the phone would ring,and she would ask me to make her favourite sweets,or sambhar,green mango jam,nimki,and the innumerable things she so loved to eat.But reality is tough to handle,and each person has to find a way out.But I will love Mashima forever,because she was my dearest,and best friend,and gave me very valuable lessons, on how to be a good person,above all else.And I will make every endeavour to follow whatever she said, as my tribute to a great lady,my best friend,my inspiration,guide,and a very precious part of my life.R.I.P Mashima,chirodin bhalobeshe jaabo,jaemon aapni dekheiyechen.

12th.APRIL,A SPECIAL DAY 4 ME.

Today is my husband's b'day,and, although he left me more than 25 yrs. ago,this day continues to come, loaded with wonderfully happy memories,and also tinged with sadness, at what might have been.Yes, there is a space in my heart which is full of pain,and a deep sense of loss, and lots of unanswered questions.But ,we shared lovely moments together,and I can still recall every birthday,and the unending joy we managed to create.

He came from a very conservative family,and celebrating b'days etc. were just not done,for fear of the evil eye.And, in my family, we celebrated everything in a big way,and my parents would go all out,to make the day special, in every possible way.They say, opposites attract,but, in our case, we were just thrown together, two completely unknown people,and it was left to us, to go, in whichever direction we wanted to follow.And we didn't really know much about attraction etc.Or rather, we didn't know much about anything.But everyone is born with survival skills,and learns soon enough,how to tackle the situation.So did we, or, to put it correctly,I did.He didn't know a thing about anything relating to the home,so I had to take things in hand,and find my way out.But we had loads of fun,as we made our way together,and as love grew,and blossomed, we started enjoying many things, which were new to him,and which soon became an inseparable part of our lives.

I still remember his 1st. b'day after marriage,12th Apr.1962.When he left for work, I just told him not to return late, because a friend was dropping in, to meet him.He didn't suspect anything,and in those days, there were no hassles like cell-phone etc. so I knew he wouldn't find out anything. And he wouldn't remember either.After he left, I got started with my plans,and being young,and new,it was a difficult task.But I managed to make payesh,keemar ghoogni,luchi,aloor dom,and decorated the dinner table with lovely fresh flowers.We were living in Salem,Tamilnadu, so flowers were available everywhere, and I had my own flower seller,coming home.I also dressed up well,and was completely ready, when the b'day boy returned.He was surprised to see me all dolled up,and more surprised,when he entered, and went to the dining table.It was a rickety cane table,but love had worked wonders,and created a beautiful,dreamy atmosphere.

He was shy,embarrased, hesitant, but I could see the glow of happiness in his eyes,and that was my biggest reward.I had baked a small cake,which he cut,and after that,we sat down to enjoy the party.It was simple, certainly not perfect,very amateurish,but we felt as if we were in heaven.He enjoyed every morsel,was full of praise, and then I gave him his gift.It was his favourite book,with a few poetic lines from me,and he just melted.It was the happiest day for us,sweet,simple, and straight from the heart.

Over the years, we celebrated every occasion, with a lot of excitement, preparation, and planning. The children's b'days were huge events,eagerly looked forward to,by everyone, and thanks to the coaching he received from them, he also learnt to select gifts for each one of us.If they were not up to the mark,he was apologetic,but I loved him as he was,and didn't really care for what he bought.And, he always loved to talk about that 1st. b'day, which caught him unawares,and introduced him, to fun,and joy, he had never experienced.And till today, I believe, that its the simple,loving, acts of thoughtfulness,care,sensitivity, that matter,and money can never,ever substitute the workings of the heart.

LIVING,IS MY FAVOURITE THING.

This morning,a friend of mine, asked me, to name, five of my favourite things,and I immediately said,"Only five?I can name fifty,or more.My list is endless!"She was completely taken aback,specially because, she was talking to a person,who,in the eyes of the world,lives a life, that cannot have anything good about it.In fact, most people feel sorry for me.But I laugh it off,as is my nature,because, it is only at the tree laden with fruits, that people cast stones.Happiness is an art, that has to be cultivated.It is self-generating,and is not dependant on anyone,or anything.It grows inside,and blooms,and blossoms into great joy,and beauty,by the way it is nurtured,and cultured.It is very personal,and brings tremendous peace,inner solace,and fulfilment.

What then, ARE my favourite things?Watching the sun rise every morning,like an exquisite painting,and marvel at the different colours that accompany this gorgeous sight.Beautiful birds,big,and small,flitting around,chirping away,happy to welcome a new day,and looking at me,with surprise in their little,shiny eyes.The cool breeze,softly caressing me,as I sit down, to enjoy my favourite tea,made,exactly as I like it.Watching the world come to life,in various different ways,as the day demands,from each person,is also a great experience.
The whole world knows that I am a passionate cook,and my time in my kitchen,is indeed,one of my MOST favourite things.There,I'm at my creative best,and every moment is exciting,and very enjoyable.Decorating my home is also something I love,so I'm always shifting,cleaning,adding, substituting,and trying to make it a place loved,admired,and enjoyed by all.And, I'm very proud to say, it is.When I was young,the happiest place for me,was Disneyland.It still is,I would love to go there again,but now,in the evening of my life,my home,is the best,and happiest place in the world.Everything about it, shows my love,and what I value,and I feel happy here.

I love to travel,and every place, has its own, charming story to tell.Meeting people,and making friends, is also something I love,because it opens the door to so much knowledge,awareness,and insight, into the human psyche.I love good food,am always eager to try out different cuisines,of different countries. Sitting on the beach,and quietly watching the waves come thrashing to the shore,and then go back,in soft,white foam.I have seen the Alps in heavy snow,and some of the spectacular wonders of the world. So how can I name only five of my favourite things?

Reading,listening to soft,beautiful music,talking to friends,spending time with the superstars of my life,my beautiful grandchildren,giving a little gift to my son,and watching the emotions on his face,which he takes care to hide,cooking something for a loved one,that will bring on a smile,writing, which I do ALL the time,compose verse,my first love,knitting,sewing,you name it,I do it.Which ones should I pick?Actually, I'm deeply in love with life,and living it with joy,energy,enthusiasm,excitement,lots of fun,and happy smiles,takes up all my time,so everything about living, is my favourite.

I'M MAD! RU?

No,its not a laughing matter,although I personally feel ,that a sense of humour, is certainly, the most important trait in a person's character,and helps in any situation.But, this is something very important, something I feel very strongly about,and want to create public awareness.MAD here means, Making A Difference,living life in such a way,that there is some concrete contribution to society,and trying to be the change, that we want to see around us.Talking is easy, that is why most people talk about everything all around us, and thats where it all ends.But, its when we decide to do our bit,even if it makes a small difference,that big changes will take place,and we can be of use to society.

Our maids play a very vital role in the household,but lead lives of tremendous hardship,and there's never any end in sight.Every moment means constant struggle,endless worries,with no respite.But if each family decides to help, in some form,or the other,in any small way,things will be different,and the maid will get strength from knowing,that help is available.Of course,there are innumerable instances of a good samaritan,being at the receiving end,but should that stop us from trying to MAD?No,in fact,a small step today,will make a big difference, tomorrow.

In the '40's,when I was very young,I used to see my mother,regularly visit a settlement, of very poor people,near our home,sometimes several times a day.Being too young, I didn't know what she was doing.But one day,she asked me to accompany her,and I've never forgotten that experience.She was completely in charge of the whole settlement,and looked after all their needs.The children were put in schools,and she diligently checked to see how they were coping.My father, being a doctor,was roped in, to look after their medical problems,which were many,and she had arranged for bhajan sessions, counselling,community kitchens,social workers to provide guidance, and help.Every angle was looked after by a lady,who had never been near the gates of a school,as was the system at that time,but who had values,principles,and goals,that surprised everyone,and worked had,to achieve them.And she did.She MAD!

Littering,throwing garbage all over,being disrespectful to the people around us,and our surroundings,talking loudly on the cell phone(the biggest nuisance of the 21st. century!) being late for an appointment,being rude,and discourteous,the list is endless,and the problems, ever increasing.But all we choose to do,is sit around,and talk.But hey! Lets do something concrete,and be responsible,accountable,answerable,for the change,around us. Lets MAD! Start now,and keep going,it really matters!

LIFE IS CONSTANT LEARNING

Like millions of people,all over the world,I too, am an ardent fan,and admirer, of the iconic Sachin Tendulkar,not only because of his cricketing prowess,but for the person he is,and the way he handles himself,and his life.His humility,courtesy,grace,and calm demeanour,stand out, at every step he takes,and adds an aura around him,that is both charming,and very touching.He never gets blown away by anything,although he is responsible for many path breaking records,and takes everything in his stride,with humility,and complete control.And it is this great quality,that makes him a world icon, idol,and a tremendous inspiration to both the young,and the old.

India has just lifted the mighty World Cup,which in itself,is a huge achievement.And, all the team members, vociferously announced, that they wanted to do this for Sachin,because he deserved this glory.And to me, this is a very big honour,because, to be loved,and respected is the biggest achievement in life,and the "Little Master" has got it all,totally on his own merit.It is his perfect behaviour, constant self-control,kind,caring,helpful,sensitive nature,that has brought him, to the height of personal achievement,with a glorious gift from his team mates.The adoration,admiration,accolades,from everyone around him,don't make a difference.He walks on his own path,in his own way,handles things with dignity,and stands tall,and straight.Small in stature,but extremely large in presence.It is his innate self-belief,self confidence,and the ability to keep doing his own thing,that has taken him to the pinnacle of success.

All his team mates have mentioned, that it was always Sachin,who willingly,readily, stood by them,in their difficult times,encouraged, motivated,and guided them,and helped them gain confidence, and get back on track.The mighty Yuvraj Singh has said, that he owes his present form, to constant support from this icon,and the encouragement he always gave.When the entire team moves as one, to win the cup,as a tribute to their idol,and fights to the finish,it is an honour,very few can even dream of.And a very well deserved one too.

So,instead of gloating over the enormity of the situation,which of course, is perfectly natural,and to be expected, let us learn life's MOST valuable lessons, from this great man.That it is important,and imperative, to be humble,grateful to God, to be courteous, respectful,sensitive,and well-mannered,at all times,with everyone,and treat people with love,and kindness,support,and encourage when it is needed,and always be there,for someone,who needs help,no matter what the situation.Greatness lies in being in control of one's self,when the moment can over throw alll ideals,and even in this hour of highest honour,Sachin has given ALL the credit to his team mates,and thanked them,for giving him the most prestigeous gift.

BEING A PART OF HISTORY

Today is Sun.3rd. April 2011,and I write this, in an extremely euphoric,ecstatic,and wonderfully happy frame of mind.Because, once again, I have witnessed a very historical moment in the life of every Indian,and being a very patriotic,and proud Indian,it has made me delirious with joy.India has won the World Cup,and what a show it was!Tears flowed freely, proud,happy smiles, wreathed every face,and congratulatory shouts rent the air! It was as if,everyone had gone mad,and the occasion was worth every bit of this,and much more.Behind this memorable moment,lies a lot of very hard work, stress, frustrations,mental,and physical problems,but to fight against insurmountable odds,and emerge the winner,speaks of character,calibre,capability,and above all,the desire to fight it out.And our team is the embodiment of all this,which helped them reach the pinnacle of success.

From a very young age,we have been taught that,"Unity is strength!"and because the team worked as one,they reached their coveted goal.Each and every member,had only one aim,one goal,one thought,to lift the Cup,and moved towards achieveing this,as one entity.And they also wanted to gift this victory, to a world icon,a giant among leaders,a cricketing wizard,an acknowledged maestro,the great Sachin Tendulkar,who wanted to add this coveted trophy, to his already over loaded haul.And they did it!Every member of the team proudly said, that they were happy to do it for him,and when they lifted him, on their shoulders,and took him around the stadium for a victory lap,I must confess, my tears refused to be in control.It was the biggest expression of love and respect,for an outstanding colleague,and this is a very rare achievement in an individuals life.But when it comes to this superstar of cricket, nothing is really enough,his stature is too high,his personality so royal,and he's truly deserving of his status as an icon,and an idol.

What exactly contributes to this frame of mind,and the desire to make someone's dream come true?The answer is very simple,and easily found in the values, instilled in us,from birth.It is all about being loving,respectful,thoughtful,sensitive,caring,true friendship,and togetherness,and when the happiness of someone else ,becomes a priority,and goal,it is easy to reach it,because after all,love is MORE about giving,LESS of taking.And if we all move through life,constantly practicing what our parents,and elders taught us,then the world would be such a very happy place,and we, calm,and peaceful individuals.

So,hats off to our team! And, for once, blue is the colour of everything worth working for,the colour of love,happiness,togetherness,power,and professionalism,the colour that will be painting the country,for a very long time.And I'm SOOOOOO happy,proud,and thrilled beyond measure, to have witnessed history being made,and been a part of such a momentous day, in the life of every Indian.And after the match,when the sky was lit up with exquisite fireworks,and the roads thronged with hundreds of elated Indians,gone mad with joy,I sent a silent prayer of thanks to God,for giving me the gift of a moment, I will cherish,and treasure,for the rest of my life.The memorable date is Sat. 2nd.April 2011.

SHAKE HANDS WITH YOURSELF!

One of the many questions I am constantly asked is,"What exactly do you do,specially because you live all alone?"Well,I don't mind this curiosity,its perfectly natural,specially because, In Indian society,it is extremely unusual for a lady, of my age,and stage,to live alone,and enjoy every moment of it.The popular concept is,in young age,its always the family,and life revolves around them,and their never ending demands.Its always the woman,who has to stand up to every expectation.And in the process,completely put herself on the shelf, so that she forgets who she is,and loses touch with her inner feelings,her desires,hopes,and aspirations,and becomes an empty shell,holding on to others, to survive.And then, a day dawns, when children have left the coop,the husband is perpetually busy,and the wife has to fend for herself,which she has never learnt to do,because she was either not allowed,or not encouraged to do so.And then starts a life of despair,loneliness,and dejection.
Fortunately for me, my mother taught me,very early in life,that no matter what I was doing,it is extremely imperative, that everyday,I find some time,only for myself,doing things I love,which bring me mental happiness,and give wings to my desires.And I have always followed that,and do it, even now.Having multi-faceted interests, has definitely helped,and being very passionate about whatever I take up,is the secret to the success, that everyone talks about."Where there is love,passion,and dedication,success,fulfilment,and mental peace,are bound to follow".And I can proudly say,that today,after having crossed 70,and "living alone", I am completely at peace with myself,and happy with the way I live.How many can claim that?
To be in love with life,and enjoying the joy of living,creates the energy,and will, to keep going,exploring every avenue,and always looking for ways to improve, enhance,upgrade life, to make it a satisfying experience.I start my day with my favourite hot cup of tea,watching the sun rise,and the magic of the moment, is very mesmerising,and beautiful.I love to write,and do it all the time,even when I'm watching the milk from boiling over.Reading,cooking,travelling,composing poems,music,watching my favourite shows on TV,sports, spending time with friends,talking to my darling grandchildren,being involved in the numerous projects I endorse,you name it,I do it,thats what keeps my life so fulfilling,and creative."The greatest source of energy, is pride in what you are doing!"And of course, the internet has brought the world, within my fingertips.

The person inside is my real guide,and I always give vent to my inner desires,hopes,and aspirations.What people say,or think about me,is irrelevant,unimportant,but what I think about myself, is ALL that matters,because being happy is all about inner peace,and personal calm,which is self generating,and cannot come from outside.

GIVING IN TO NOSTALGIA--REEDO'S B'DAY, 27th Mar 2011

Today,my darling butterball, Reedoo,celebrates his 4th.b'day,and my only thought is,I wish I was there, to celebrate with him.I would have loved to cook something special for him,maybe luchi torkari,some sweets,or a cake,anything that would give the celebration my personal touch.And then,enjoy the day with him.But none of this is possible,and so, I spend my time, thinking of the innumerable memories, that come tumbling out, of the data bank, of my heart,where they are stored,with deep love.

I remember,very vividly,the day Ashis was born.I arrived in the hospital in the afternoon,and a severe storm started,soon after.Being young,and totally unaware of whats going to happen,I was walking around,talking to the other mothers,lined up for their proper time.The doctor,a very renowned expert, kept a watch on me,and my husband sat around, trying to read, to hide his anxiety.He was like a cat on a hot tin roof,nervous,edgy, ignorant about everything,and constantly looking at me,trying to figure out what was happening.In those days, it was innocence that was so touching, in a relationship.We only had each other,and at that crucial moment,he wanted to help, in any way possible.And when I was taken away into the delivery room,the look on his face, is still clearly etched, in my mind.Worry,helplessness,anxiety,all rolled into one.
He was born around 5-40 PM,after a very normal,easy birth,and when we were taken to our room,the huge smile on his fathers sweaty,tired face,made my day,and I forgot about the physical upheaval I had gone through.He was like a little child,excited,happy,and thrilled with the little face in front of him.Both of us loved children,and were completely overjoyed with the arrival of Ashis.He held my hand,as I sipped the hot filter coffee,and lovely soft,white iddlis he had bought,specially for me.The expression of love, varies from person to person,and my husband came from a very simple,conservative family,where it wasn't proper to be demonstrative about such things.But it was this simplicity that always appealed to me,and his childlike gestures really touched my heart.And,in that tiny hospital room,two young people,very mush in love,held their baby,and were getting ready, to write the next chapter, in their beautiful love story.
But hey! Its Reedo's b'day,and he is the most beautiful,cheerful,happy child imaginable,very friendly,very social,loves talking,and a real bundle of joy.My friends say, God brought him into my life,as a special gift,because I love children,love spending time with them,love to knit for them, in short,I enjoy everything with them.And indeed, that is very true.Its a joy to be with my darling, just like the other three,and they have brought me joy,and fulfilment, that cannot be described.And today, on his b'day,I wish him all the very best in everything,and may he always enjoy happiness, in whatever he undertakes,wherever he goes.May God gift him with good health,peace,and lots of smiles,that is my prayer on his 4th.b'day.Love you,my sweetheart!

AOL..com

No,that is not my new mail id,but the most important aspect of life,which very few know of,or have any idea, about how to get there.It is the Art Of Living,which is the essence of life,and the pursuit of which,brings fulfilment,peace,and is the biggest achievement in life.To most people, specially nowadays,(2011)the meaning of life is, acquiring material assets,in every sphere,every form,the more the merrier,and in the course of achieving this,trample on all the most important values of life,without even a backward glance.Yet,surrounded by the best that money can provide,there is a constant feeling of discontent,restlessness,a mental vacuum,and the feeling, that something is seriously lacking.And that,is the art of living.

Is living all about I,Me and Mine?Is it constantly running in a rat race,trying to keep pace with others,and living according to the terms dictated by personal lifestyle?Making money,is not the same, as making a life,so everyone knows about money making,but very few have any idea of living,or how to enjoy life.Having acquired everything that money can buy,what next?Slowly the realisation dawns,that money doesn't guarantee some of the MOST important gifts of life,like love,good health,mental peace,a sense of fulfilment,and inner calm.If it did, then all the richest people in the world,would have been the happiest, but are they?Liz Taylor died this morning,(Wed.23rd.Mar.)one of the world's most beautiful women,extremely wealthy,surrounded by the world's most eligible men,lacking nothing,except mental peace,health,and the strength of relationships.Many worldwide figures have led miserable personal lives,and Mother Teresa,who owned nothing,was a very peaceful,satisfied,happy person.

The art of living is all about being in love with the joy of living,of loving people,of being there for someone,its about kindness,care,compassion,togetherness,of being ever ready to help,and to hold,and sharing whatever one has,for the benefit of someone, who needs it more.Last year, Mumbai was facing severe floods,but even in that terrible catastrophe,a little roadside boy,was cuddling a small puppy,and holding it tightly, to his heart,to save him,even sharing his meagre food with him.And there are innumerable such instances, of the generosity of human spirit.And strangely,in my own experience, I have seen,that some of the richest, are the meanest,most unscrupulous,unkind,and totally devoid of basic human values.
A life that is lived with love,with sensitivity,respect for others, and constantly looking for opportunities to be of use,somewhere,to someone,somehow.Being happy with whatever God gives,thanking Him for His gifts,and living with contentment,committment,and constantly creating avenues which bring fulfilment,is the art of living,the ultimate achievement in life.One who manages this, is truly a very rich person indeed,for he has attained richness,where it matters most,mentally,and personally.

INTRODUCING JONASJOYS

Recently,I was being interviewed, for an article,in a leading publication,and it started with,"Tell us something about Jonasjoys.What exactly is it?"Well,I'm always very happy to talk about Jonasjoys,because it is entirely my own creation,in which, I have given shape, to my numerous dreams,and with constant hard work,have made it a famous name, here, in a megapolis like Pune.And it gives me immense joy,when I attend parties,or get-togethers,where the gourmet items have been prepared by me, when guests inspect the dinner table and say,"Wow! This looks like a Jonasjoys creation?"It is a very fulfilling,satisfying,and happy moment indeed.

How did this name originate,and who thought about it?The idea was entirely mine,and Jonas comes from my name Jonaki,which means firefly.This name was given to me, by my darling Dad, who always said,that when he came to see me,after I was born,I gave him a big smile.And there and then, he decided to call me, Jonaki, which lights up darkness.As I grew up, I tried telling him,that new-born babies don't smile.But he stuck to his theory,the name stuck to me,and now,it has become famous.And Joys?Because I love to spread joy,whenever,and wherever I can, so Jonasjoys means,the joy spread by Jonaki.
Initially,it was mostly about food,which,as everyone knows, is my passion,hobby, the greatest source of enjoyment,and, in my opinion,the greatest example of love.So, whatever I made,went with this label.Slowly,it branched out into party preparations,infant food,health food,no oil food,and everyone loved it.I was constantly coming out with new ideas,and there were requests for something, in a different avenue.One thing led to another,and my repertoire became very large,very popular,and in constant demand.

Later,Jonasjoys started writing on various topics,composing poems for special occasions,giving advice on different aspects of life,ideas on good living,showing the way out of many difficult moments in life,and writing articles of topical interest,but in a very humourous way,and the reaction to all these was surprising,and amusing.I loved the recognition that came my way,and it only fuelled my desire to achieve more.And today,Jonasjoys is well known for its creativity, in many spheres.Pretty gift wrapping,knitted articles for every age, babies being my top favourites,verses for house-warming,weddings,a new birth,any special occasion,and unhesitatingly, their choice?Jonasjoys!

Now, having crossed 70, Jonasjoys is a constant source of excitement,fun,enjoyment,endless creativity,and always opening up to new horizons.I love challenges,and take them up with great enthusiasm,for if I can handle them well,I will push Jonasjoys up another rung, in the ladder of success.Isn't that a goal worth working for?

I'M AN ADDICT MARCH 2011

Yes, I'm an addict,and a proud one too,

Nothing,or no one,can help me,thats true,

All this, has now, become my obsession,
I'm totally in the grip of my various addictions.

I'm addicted to love,and the happiness it brings,
There is a spring in the step,and makes the heart sing,

Addicted to putting out my hand to hold,

To give peace to someone,and pleasures untold.

My addiction is to wipe a tear,

And always try to spread some cheer,
My life is not about I,Me,or Mine,

Creating smiles, makes me feel so fine.

I'm addicted to spreading warmth everywhere,

In times of need, to always be there,

Give me the strength,Oh Lord,I pray,
To be addicted to living,in every way.

A VERY SPECIAL DAY--LOVE U AYON.20th.Mar.2011

My dearest Ayon, I can't believe it,but its UR 18th.b'day,and I must confess,I'm feeling really sad, that I couldn't join you, and celebrate this special b'day with you.I would have given you a BIIIIIG hug,held you to my heart,and blessed you,wishing all the very best always,and hoping ALL UR dreams come true.I would have loved to cook something special 4U,the choice would have been yours,and enjoyed every moment with you.A grandchild is always extra special,and the first one,more so,because he brings joy, never experienced B4,and opens the door to so much excitement.

Time has a way of flying past,and you have raced into UR 18th year,B4 we even realised it.Where have the years gone?I remember that day,early morning,when the doctor came, and put you in my hands,and UR head fitted in my palm.I looked at that little face,and suddenly,the tears started flowing,as if a dam had burst.I couldn't do anything to stop them,and all those around were wondering, why I reacted that way.I've never said this to anyone,but today,I'll tell you,UR Dadu had huge plans of what he would do,with his first grandchild,and discussed them with me very often, with the excitement of a little child.I can still see his handsome face,wreathed in smiles,as he listed all that he had in mind,for that occasion.But things turned out differently.I had to handle that moment,all on my own,and that is why I felt so much pain.But soon,that little face, was like a balm to my heart,and I got so much love from you,that my life was completely fulfilled.You made me very happy.

Over the years, we'ev shared lovely moments,and also some very difficult ones too.It wasn't EZ for me to see you go through so many health problems,specially because I couldn't do anything to ease it 4U.But my dearest Ayon,we share deep love,care for each other,have respect,and sensitivity,and on UR 18th b'day,I pray that all UR troubles disappear,and you can enjoy UR life,just as you would want to.And, my darling musician,I love the beautiful music you create,and one day,the world will talk about it,just wait.

So ,Happy 18th.b'day,to someone I love deeply,a very good human being,and just walk on UR own track,UR dreams WILL come true.LOVE YOU,FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART,UR very precious to me.

THE SENSATIONAL SEVENTIES

I'm in the sensational seventies,and life is a ball,

My energy,and enthusiasm,nothing can stall,
I have a lot of dreams,hopes,and aspirations,

Every moment for me now, is a constant celebration.

This is the best time of life for me,

Of compulsions,and demands,I'm completely free,

No deadlines to meet,my time is mine,

And the way I live is perfectly fine!

With a hot cup of tea,I watch the sun rise,

The master painter never ceases to surprise,
Lovely birds flit around,chirping away,

This is how I start each day.

If I feel like it,I just go for a walk,
Or call a friend over,and sit,and talk,

Movies,picnics,and many more,

My life's full of fun,thats for sure.

I can watch a new bud,bloom into a flower,

Or enjoy getting wet,in the season's first shower,

Talk to my grandchildren,the biggest stars in my world,

They add colours of joy,great love,they have stirred.

I can read,or write, or just sit around,
Peace,and pleasure I have found,

What is this life,if full of care

I have no time for enjoyment to spare?

BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME!

My dearest Rainbow,this is specially for you.I love talking to you,because I feel really happy,and that is the test of a good relationship.You don't say things just for saying,but because you care,and that makes me feel very good.It is very comforting to know, that there is someone, who thinks about me,cares about what I do,and is in contact all the time.I'm sure you must be wondering what I'm talking about?Yes,UR2 small to understand,but when you asked me, why I don't write in my blog,I realised, that someone is interested in me,in what I do,and wants me to keep doing it.And that was the push I needed.So,here I am, doing what I enjoy most,writing my blog,and talking 2U.

As you know already, I love to write,and I'm always writing something,or the other,and winning awards for them too.But frankly, after my dearest friend,wonderful companion,and the nicest,kindest person in my life,my dearest Mashima, left me, I felt as if, half my body is gone with her,and the loss was too much to handle.You remember the wonderful granny who used to live in the apartment downstairs?Yes, we were best friends,and loving companions, for close to 15 yrs.and the sudden break was a huge shock.Although I wanted to go to my blog,and thought about it constantly,I just didn't have the will to continue.But you have done exactly what a good friend does ,given me the push I needed. So,here I am,doing what I enjoy most,letting my fingers fly,and get my thoughts across.

Thank you for the nudge,and I will be regular now. The New Year(2011) started off very well,but this incident proved 2B a setback,and it was very tough for me.But as you know from FB,I'm having fun, doing whatever I enjoy,and creating things that give me joy.Holi,the festival of colours is around the corner,and all of us RBZ with the preparations.The whole city is in a festive mood,and everyone is fully prepared to plunge into the excitement,and fun.I am making special sweets,because it is customary to serve sweets, after playing with colours.And Jonasjoys preparations are very hot right now.Specially after Loy endorsed it,my name is very high on the list of speciality food, here in Pune.Thats great,right?
Well my dear,bye for now.Leave UR comments,and I'm going 2B very regular now.Thanks for being a very loving,and true friend.God has given me a very special gift I'm always thankful for---YOU!Bhalobasha.