ON MY ANNIVERSARY,18th.NOV.2010

Today is our anniversary,and we would have completed 49 blissful,beautiful,warm,love-filled,charming years.Yes, that is what my life, with my extraordinary husband was like.He had a great sense of humour,and always said,with a big smile,"We are on a permanent honeymoon!"And indeed we were.We never stopped talking,laughing,sharing,enjoying,and our life was full of fun.He knew how to create smiles,and we enjoyed every moment of the beautiful togetherness,we shared.Friends very often asked us,"What do you constantly talk about?Whenever we see you driving past,you are so busy talking to each other,that you don't notice anything else!"Yes,our life was like an exciting adventure,full of happiness to the core,and never ever did we imagine that it would be so short lived.

On every a'versary,what is the first thought that comes to my mind?Why?Why? Why did this have to happen,and why did our beautiful,happy world, suddenly come crashing down,destroying everything into smithereens,and leaving me completely shattered,alone,helpless,and sunk in the depths pf despair?We shared many dreams,planned for many achievements,looked forward to so much.But suddenly I felt as if I was in a dark tunnel,with no chance of anything to look forward to.Even today,after almost 25 yrs. of steering the boat alone,I still haven't got over the shock of that devastating moment,that turned my life upside down,ripping it apart,and constant tears,and fears,my steady companions.

But, its the love we shared,our dreams together,the various plans we had,and the success of my children, that gave me the strength, to get started,and keep moving,inspite of the pain,and the urge to give up.We had never met each other before we got married,but in him,I found a wonderful human being,shared many similarities,and most of all,we loved each other,which was Gods gift to us.When something is built on love,it cannot be destroyed,and thats what kept me going.To make all his dreams come true,and not put obstacles in the path of our son's.Today,in 2010, I can say, that all this has been achieved,and I should be happy,and proud.But the pain inside, is as bad as ever.

Every a'sary,its the same feelings,the hurt,pain,loneliness,as bad as ever,and the injustice of it all,creating helplessness.But joy,and sorrow, are two sides of the same coin,and one has to face what comes in life.Today,I miss him terribly,think of the fun we would have had,his surprise gifts,and so much more,and the pain increases.But I have come so far,don't know how much time I have,and will continue to live in my own way,because love conquers all,and is a many splendoured thing,to be treasured,and enjoyed.So,while I do have a constant nagging pain,I also greatly savour the 25 beautiful,happy, fulfilling years, he gave me,as a fitting tribute to a great marriage,and a wonderful relationship.

MY 70th.YEAR. NOV 2010

When I stepped into my 70th.yr. in Nov.2009, I announced it to the world,that I would be celebrating every moment of this special year,and have a blast.Being a very happy,fun-loving person, I thought that would be the best way to celebrate the life I have lived,and the way I live it.To me,life is a very precious gift,and living it with joy,committment,energy,enthusiasm,and most of all love,is how I do it.So,I wanted to make every moment of each day in my 70th.yr.full of fun,and also my way of thanking God,for blessing me,with the capability to live my life,exactly as I want to,and make my dreams come true.And indeed, now that the year is over,I can say with justifiable pride,that I have done it!Dreams do come true.

I was in Buffalo when 2010 started,and was having a wonderful time with my darling little friends,my grandchildren,Ayon/Eric/and little Reedoo.And every day I thanked God for this pleasure,which is life's greatest gift to me.I love children,and my time with them is more precious, than anything else in this whole world.I returned to Pune in the last week of Jan. and, after a few days,left for Delhi, to celebrate this year,with very special people.

The whole trip was full of fun,and everyone plunged into the celebrations, with so much love,and care,that I was truly overwhelmed. I was born,brought up,educated,and married in Delhi, so it will always be a place full of very precious memories,of the most important persons in my life.But I also wanted to meet those, who have been with me,through the ups,and downs of my life,and readily put out the hand,that steadied me,whenever I needed it.That is why I went to Delhi.And what a fabulous trip it was.

I stayed with people I've known for more than 60 yrs. and the love they poured on me,was a very touching, yet fulfilling experience.Today,in 2010, relationships have no value,and are almost non-existent.But I am very proud to say,that all my relationships, are as fresh as a new flower,and their fragrance fills my life with beauty.I visited everyone,friends,relatives,and had a great time everywhere.We all got together to enjoy endless adda,went shopping,ate out,or just sat around to talk about the innumerable things we always can talk about.And I loved every moment.Truly a most unforgettable trip.

I returned to Pune, and immediately got busy with my life here,again full of all my favourite activities,and made joyful by my dear friends.In May,I left for Singapore, to enjoy my time with my dear friend,and favourite companion,my 12 yr.old grand daughter,Tia Rani,who is the personification of all that is wonderful in life.Children have a way of embellishing life with their pure,and unsullied charm,and it is their purity of thoughts,and their innocence,that makes every moment so precious.We talked,shopped,walked,ate endlessly,and loved every moment.But the highlight of my trip, in 2010, was my 70th.b'day gift, a trip to the newly opened Universal Studios,and wow!what an absolutely fantastic place.Just what I love too.

I have been visiting S'Pore, for close to 14 yrs. now,and the way their govt.runs the city,is most admirable,an example to the whole world.And their version of the famous Universal Studios,has definitely become the talking point, of the millions of tourists,who throng there,every day.And I can vouch for every word of appreciation,people say.In fact,words cannot describe the grandeur,and the fascinating,awesome, and very beautiful atmosphere, created.Every moment spent there,is a visual treat,and a delight.I loved every moment,and felt like a little child,with its favourite chocolate,or toy.My loving thanks go to my son,Losita,and of course Tia Rani,for this outstanding gift.Thank you guyz.

After a very warm,and wonderful trip to S'Pore, I returned to Pune,but within a few days, left for Chennai,to attend the wedding of Ria,my young friend from my apartment complex,Riverview.I love travelling,meeting friends,and enjoying with them,and once again,it was a very enjoyable trip,from beginning,to end.I enjoyed the wedding,where they took personal care of me,met up with all my dear friends,shopped,looked around,and since we'ev lived there for many years,the whole city is full of very precious memories for me.

After my return to Pune, my friends were gasping at the way I was going on at 70,but no one could stop me.I enjoyed participating in Ganpati,Durga pujo,Divali celebrations,and then came the GREAT day,my b'day.I spent the whole day in Mahabaleshwar,with my friends,just the way I had always wanted.The scenic beauty is unparalled,boating on the crystal clear lake was just so serene,and soothing,and the weather was gorgeous throughtout the day.We went all over the place,stopped for coffee, enjoyed unending adda at lunch,shopped,and just soaked in the joy of the moment.It was a very fulfilling end to a most outstanding year. Thanks are due to innumerable people,who eagerly,happily, came forward to celebrate with me,and make my special year memorable.But above all,I must gratefully thank God,for blessing me, with such a beautiful year,which will be ever fresh in my mind,as long as I live.

TRIP TO CHENNAI/JULY 2010

I have just returned from a wonderful trip to Chennai,where I went to attend the wedding of Ria, a lovely girl,with whom I have developed a beautiful friendship.We have spent lovely times together,when they were living in an apartment downstairs,and that friendship has just grown, with love for each other.Ria is a very warm,caring, loving person,and at her own wedding,constantly took personal care of me,to see that I was comfortable,and well looked after.Not too many people can do that.And I must say, I enjoyed every moment of the wedding.She looked lovely,and her parents looked after every angle to perfection.

Chennai holds a very special place in my life,because we'ev spent 10 beautiful years there.From 1964 to 1974.So at every step, every turn,every nook and corner,memories kept flooding my mind,and it was a beautiful feeling,nostalgic,but happy.Ashis was born in Salem,and at that time,there were no good schools there.So, if we stayed on,he would have to be put into a boarding school in Yercaud,a little hill station nearby.But his father decided he would never do that,and so he started looking for a change in his job, so he could allocate to a big city.And that is how,and why ,we landed in Chennai,Madras,at that time.

And from then on, we had a very happy life there.Ashis started with Presentation Convent,my alma mater,and then went to Don Bosco.Four years later Manna was born,and joined him there,when it was time for his schooling.They were good students, and did well for themselves.And we had a wonderful social life.Lots of friends, lots of activities,picnics,travelling,and enjoyed everything.My husband was very happy in his job,I was happy leading my own life,and things were great.

So my visit to Chennai was very exciting, from the time I landed.Friends welcomed me with so much happiness,that it was truly touching.Invitations kept pouring in,and I was constantly shuttling, between one family,and another,and enjoying the love,and care, from all quarters.I visited many of my favourite places, loaded with happy memories,ate at famous joints like Buhari,which are now more than 50 yrs. old,and was a great favourite with us.Enjoyed authentic Tamilian cuisine,and the pongal,and feather lite iddlis were to die for.The people are simple,and kind,and I received very nice treatment even from taxi drivers.

So, my trip to Chennai has been a lovely experience,very enjoyable, very loving,and fun.And I'm so glad I went.Every moment will be treasured forever,and be fresh in my mind, to be savoured,and enjoyed.Thats what relationships give to life,great joy,and loads of smiles.

LOVE BRINGS PEACE,AND SMILES.

I am writing this, just before leaving for Chennai,where I am going, to attend a wedding,and meet up, with the innumerable friends I have, there.We'ev lived in Chennai from' 64-'74,and this is 2010.But, after a gap of so many years, the kind of love I am getting from all my friends there,is truly overwhelming,and a great eye-opener.They are eagerly,excitedly waiting to welcome me, and lunches/dinners/ get-togethers/outings, have already been organised,"because we love you,and want to enjoy every moment of your visit!"And although I have visited Chennai, a few times, in between, the tremendous pouring of love,and care, is very touching,and,which, I consider, a great gift of God. Love is the greatest,and strongest bond, that keeps relationships alive,fresh,and enjoyable,and nothing in the world, can ever, match up to its power.

Why is it then, that many people are so miserly about giving love, ignorant about its all-encompassing joy,and the fulfilment it brings?Just a warm smile,a phone-call,a few kind words,a hug,or a pat on the back,can change the day for a person,and put a spring in his step.And there are many, who do not know how to receive love,who misunderstand a gesture of love,and give their own connotations to an innocuous act. According to me,such people are unfortunate,sad,and misguided, for even an infant, understands a touch of love.And what a sad way of going through life,by rejecting love, the most valuable,and prized gift, that makes all the difference to living,and the energy behind everything.
I have myself had, many bitter experiences,with such empty people,who misunderstood,or misconstrued my gesture of love,and gave it a completely different picture.But I always look at such incidents as a learning experience,refrain from interacting with such lonely,pathetic people, and continue on my quest to do everything with love,which makes all the difference to life,and living.
My friends in Chennai are waiting to give me a welcome fit for a queen,and my happiness knows no bounds.I am constantly reminded of the famous song,sung by my favourite, Th eBeatle,"I don't care so much for money,for money can't buy me love!"Money is indeed very necessary,but all the money in the world doesn't guarantee health,happiness and peace,the three MOST important requirements, for success,and fulfilment.I thank God all the time,for filling my life with so much love,and for giving me so much joy as an incentive to go on a big trip,just to savour its pleasures.

MEN CAN BE BOYZ,ALWAYZ.

Father's Day has just been celebrated, by everyone,everywhere,at least I hope so,because I believe,that every act of love, must be appreciated,reciprocated,for it to continue growing.We start taking things for granted, or don't feel the need to count our blessings.And thats when relationships start getting stale,and lose their lustre.On Father's Day,I was with Manna in S'Pore,and throughout the day,many very touching incidents,over the years gone by, were continuously flashing before my eyes,and they were all about being loving,and kind.I must go over some of those,just to show,that even after moving on in life,with all its pressures,stresses,and strains, the love,care,compassion,and kindness, is very much existant,and their precious gift to me.

Let me start with Ashis.When he was about four, I was serving dinner to some guests who had come over,when I realised, I needed bread for breakfast the next morning. So I told everyone to continue,while I would run down,and get it.Suddenly,Ashis stopped eating,got down,put on his chappals and said,"You cannot go out alone,at night.I will come with you!"He took my hand,and started going down the stairs.I still get tears, whenever I think of this incident.

Manna was also very caring,kind,and attentive,and always making sure,I was alright.During Durga Puja,whenever he bought something for himself,he would come to me, to ask, if I wanted to share it with him.And once,we were on a trip to Kerala,and in Trivandrum,I suddenly came down with fever, due to the extreme heat.Manna was about two at the time.He came and took another pillow,right next to mine,lay down,and refused to leave me,till I recovered.I have a photograph of this lovely moment,preserved like a treasure.Innumerable such sweet,and touching incidents,filled my life with joy.And today, as I see them as fathers,or in the myriad roles they play,I can still see their love,and kindness,every step of the way,and that is the gift I cherish,and treasure.

I was in Buffalo,US, from Oct. 2009 to Jan.2010,in very extreme weather conditions.Heavy snow,completely home bound,and all movement very restricted.But Ashis would always organise things in such a way,that I could go out, and enjoy doing what I liked.Browsing in my favourite store Michaels,or Target,Kohls,or J.C Penny,take a walk in the Mall,or whatever I enjoyed.This caring makes a very huge difference to life.And when I was leaving,to reduce the tension in the air, he said,"Would you like to go out and choose some more red things for your home?I can take you!"Thanks Ashis, but no red thing can compare with the love,care,thoughtfulness,and kindness shown to me.Thats what I value most.

And while in S'Pore,even after leading an extremely hectic,stressful life,Manna would get up early,every Sat/Sun. to take me to lovely places,which are exquisite in the early mornings,and sit around patiently,while I did the photography,or enjoyed a walk.And he took leave from work,to spend a day, at the newly opened Universal Studios, specially for me,because I love such places.And many little incidents were constantly taking place,a reminder of the special relationship we share,and how much it is valued.

I can go on,and on,and on.But those who travel the journey of life,without losing their values,are on the right track,and when I am with my boys, I feel very blessed,and privileged,and pray to God to give them all the best in the world,so that they can live their lives, happily,peacefully,successfully.Because to me, these men will always be the special boyz in my life,my treasures,my joy,my wealth.Happy Father's Day,dears.Enjoy it. June 2010.

"You are old"

I thought this poem describes Tathoo very well, and I know she'll enjoy it!

"You are old, father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head
Do you think, at your age, it is right?

"In my youth," father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
And you have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door
Pray what is the reason for that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment one shilling a box
Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his fater, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose
What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs.
-Lewis Carroll

SPECIALLY FOR ASHIS,AND MANNA

While flipping through some magazines,during my stay in S'Pore,2010, I came across this poem,which was your father's favourite.And subsequently,he wrote it out, in his own handwriting,(computers didn't substitute human feelings then!),and I still have it,welll preserved, amongst my very personal,and precious possessions.But I'm putting it here, so it will occupy pride of place,and maybe,IF,when you read it,you will think of the person,and what he wished for you. Here it is----

IF, BY RUDYARD KIPLING

If you can keep your head,when all about you
Are losing theirs,and blaming it,on you,
If you can trust yourself,when all men doubt you.
But make allowance for their doubting too.


If you can wait,and not be tired of waiting,
Or being lied about,don't deal in lies,
Or being hated,don't give way to hating.
And yet don't look too good,nor talk too wise,


If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think,and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with triumph,and disaster,
And treat those two imposters just the same.


If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken,
Twisted by knaves, to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to,broken,
And stoop,and build them up, with worn out tools,

If you can make a heap of all your winnings,
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and -toss,
And lose,and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss.

If you can force your heart,and nerve,and sinew
To serve your turn,long after they are gone,
And so hold on,when there is nothing in you,
Except the Will,which says to them,'Hold on'!

If you can talk with crowds,and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings-nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes,nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you,but none too much.

If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the earth,and everything that's in it,
And which is more--you'll be a man,my son!

It would be a fitting tribute to a wonderful person,a great scholar,and a very loving father,if you showed this to your children,and they understood its inner meaning.They will learn about their grand father,my son!

TREASURED MOMENTS/S'PORE SUMMER 2010

People spend their whole lives,running after big things,when its the little things in life, that are important,and make a huge difference.I go for those little moments,or incidents,which fill my heart,and are a constant source of pleasure,carefully stored inside,and my personal wealth."For gold is cold,and lifeless,it can neither see,nor hear,And in the time of trouble,it is powerless to cheer!"And its the little persons in my life,who have filled it ,to the brim,with untold happiness,and made my life a very exciting,and joyful adventure.
Noyonika, who is twelve,loves sweets,and from the time I have arrived,has been after me,to make the ones she loves.And this morning,I prepared her favourite rangaloor puli,to give her a surprise,after she got up.And indeed she was.Her excitement knew no bounds,and she wore a big smile,as she savoured the inviting smell of what she had been waiting for.That she would have them for breakfast,made her day,and she was ready with her plate and spoon, to dig in.There was a box of sweets lying in front of her,from one of the reputed shops of S'Pore.She pushed it aside with a big smile and said,"Who wants you now,when the real thing is before me!"and took her first bite of the warm,juicy, pulis.And that moment will always be a very special memory for me,a priceless gift,from a very special person.Because children are very innocent,and spontaneous,and do not hesitate to say things as they are.An adult would not have reacted in this way, and even if a compliment is due,will be guarded about it.But she put her heart out,because her happiness knew no bounds,and gave me, a Kodak moment.Cooking is my passion,but its moments like these,that are truly prized,and make all my efforts worth it.My kitchen is my most favourite place, in the whole, wide world,but its little incidents like these,that add to its joy.
Another day,she and I, were gallivanting in the mall,as we often do,and when we came out we saw, it had been raining.Being a water sign,I love the rain,and happily said, that since we live across the road,it didn't matter.But she immediately held my hand tightly, and said,"Don't worry,I won't let you fall!"Believe me,it was one of the the most touching moments of my life,that too from a little child.And after that,she has told me, innumerable times,that she,and her cousins, Ayon,and Aryik,(my grandsons) will always look after me!Is there anything else that can be more precious than this?Not to me,and I wish adults took some lessons from children, on how to be caring,and kind.They could change the world,and reduce the tremendous disrespect,neglect,and abuse, faced by the elderly,in society today.But I am very thankful to God,for these "little" joys in my life,who make a "HUGE" difference,and play a very impressive,and indelible role in my life.

CELEBRATING THE JOY OF LIVING

I have just returned from an almost month long trip to Delhi,which was a wonderful experience, every moment of each day.Wherever I went, I was received with so much love,warmth,affection,and care,and each and every person went out of their way,to make me comfortable.And that was really touching.Because these are what I value most of all,and treasure. I think,most people spend all their time, pursuing things that really do not matter,and forget to go for those that are important.But I only look for love and respect,and wherever I get these, I am totally fulfilled,and happy.The joyful faces of all those I visited,and the fun that filled every moment of our time,made it a very memorable trip.
I am Delhi girl,born,brought up,educated,and married in Delhi,and have very lovely memories of my life there.My school days, which were indeed the best, not at all the tension- filled,constant competition it is today.We had so much fun, and learning was never a bother,or problem.And with school, I was learning kathak dance at the now very famous Sangeet Bharathi,my teacher being non other than the doyen Achchan Maharaj,father of the renowned Birju Maharaj.Life was full of friends,varied activities,with a lot of discipline instilled,at home,and at school,and we were a very happy bunch of people.
Out of the blue, one fine day, I got married,arranged by my parents. We 'saw' each other just once,for about 5 mins.and then met after marriage.Can anyone today even imagine the situation?But we went on to live a beautiful marriage, full of happiness,constant smiles,loaded with fun,and most of all,we never finished talking,or laughing.We were best friends, very dear companions,and didn't ever need anyone else to complete our joy.Togetherness was our bond,from beginning right to the end.We wove love into whatever we did,and that became the fabric of our life.
My son's got married to Delhi girls,and my friendship increased.More Delhi people were added to my list,making every trip merrier.And although I have now lived away from Delhi for close to 50 years, I love going back,mainly because of the memories that are embedded in my mind.This time though, I found total chaos everywhere in Delhi.Because of the Commonwealth Games in Oct 2010, the whole city has been completely torn up,and new roads,beautification of all public building etc. have made daily life a huge problem. Commuting was horrible,and it took hours to go anywhere,and the dust and dirt truly unbearable.But did that stop me from doing anything?Certainly not,because everyone came forward to make my trip happy,and successful.And it was,in every way.
We went out together for movies,for chaat at my favourite Evergreen,which I have seen growing, from a small nondescript shed, to one of Delhi's most famous landmarks.Shopping at Dilli Haat, which is again a lovely experience,pouncing on Kababs from the famous Wengers,delicious Bengali sweets from Annapurna,and moghlai from C.R.Park.You name it,I've done it,and loved it all.And all those who joined me in every trip,played a major role in making my trip so happy,and memorable. Thank you guyz for being in my life,you presence made all the difference.

HOME,SWEET HOME----JAN.2010.

"No matter where in the world you may roam,there's never any place like home!"And indeed,thats very true.I have returned home, after an extensive 3-month trip to Buffalo, to be with my darling grandchildren,who made every moment a treasure.It was great fun,extremely enjoyable,and a tremendous learning experience.If one is alert,watchful,eager,and attentive, it is easy to learn so much, about so many aspects of life,and their expertise is amazing.They seem to know everything about everything,and are so cool,and comfortable handling situations,that I often wished I had their kind of exposure,and could handle things with their kind of ease.
I enjoyed the beauty of the seasons,and it was truly an amazing experience.The colours of fall are just beautiful,in various hues of bright red,copper,orange,yellow,and a great visual treat.The scenic beauty all around is wonderful,and I would go around with my camera,to hold them, in the data bank of my heart.This was followed by winter,which is very fierce there.Xmas,and New Year were fun,with Rima's beautiful Xmas tree, decorated,and loaded with gifts,the New Years eve party,after which,we got together at home, and ushered in 2010 with champagne.I loved it.
From now, till April,Buffalo will be completely covered in mountains of snow,dark from 4 PM,and very grey,most of the time, But inside, it was always warm,with the constant care,love,and affection which was always in abundance.I treasure every moment of my time,and will always cherish the lovely memories I carry.
But home is home,and although, leaving them,and coming away, is very agonising,it felt good to come back.This is my domain,created by me,in exactly the way I like,everything tailormade, just the way I want them.It is comfortable,very joyful,and a real happy place.It provides me with mental peace,smiles,and a peaceful sleep at night,all of which are very precious gifts of God.And I thank Him for that.Buffalo was very nice, thanks to my family,but this is my home, the best place in the world,where I am completely at peace with myself.