SEVERING TIES--MOVING ON!

The whole of last week,my rainbow Tia Rani,and her mother Losita,were away, in two different places,different directions,different roles.Of course, they must have enjoyed themselves,while doing whatever they were supposed to do,on their respective trips.Tia is a bundle of energy,like me,(I love this comparison!), enjoys everything,while spreading her infectious charm,and smile loaded nature,all around her.Losita is a business woman,and since I'm not very knowledgeable in this area,I'll just say, that she was busy getting her work done,whatever it was.My son Manna, has been on his own, from Sept.1986,when he went to the US to study,and is quite adept at every angle of housework,and a very good cook,(like me!).This too I love!Then, what was the problem?Why was I constantly worrying about all of them,and waiting for them, to return home, to Singapore,and get back to their usual life?Because I'm a mother, and grandmother,and worrying is an occupational hazard of my job,specially because, we don't live together,so the only thing I can do, all the time is, worry."She NEVER learns to severe her ties,wherever her children,thats where her heart lies!"
But the world is very different now.Its all about I,Me and mine,and the younger generation is extremely insensitive towards the elderly.Emotions are ridiculed,and once the children have grown up,and moved on, thinking,and worrying, about them,wanting to be with them,or longing for their visit,to spend some time together, are all considered stupid,outdated notions."He's got his own life Aunty,and why should you sit here,and worry about them?"Why indeed! Because I'm his mother,and nothing,or no one on this earth,can change that,or make me forget it.I'll be his mother till I die,and I WILL worry about him,and his family,because they are ALL, a precious part of my life.

Just because he is a successful young man,perfectly capable of handling his life,and whatever comes his way,at home,and outside, do I cease to be his mother?Can I look at him from any other angle,or just forget about him?I wanted to talk to him every night,to find out if he has had his dinner,if things are OK,and how are Losita and Tia,is he feeling alright,and so many other questions.Why is it so difficult for others to understand, that "a mother,is a mother till the end of her days!"And why is it the norm, that thinking,worrying,and praying for the happiness of a child,is something to ridicule,or denigrate?

I was more worried about my darling Tia,because she is young,and when kids are in a crowd,it is always important to be watching over them,constantly,because an innocent move,can be damaging forever.Every night, I would see her pretty face,wreathed in smiles,planning some mischief,or the other,as any child would,and I'd send a silent prayer to God,to keep her safe,and happy.Here , the argument is, she has parents,who know what to do,so why should you worry?Why indeed?Because a grandchild, is more precious, than anything else,in this whole world,and she is my family.I am her grandmother,she is apart of my life,and world,and her well being will dictate my functioning.Can I forget all this, and just pretend to be unaffected by anything that goes on with them,just because my son has his own life,and knows what to do?Am I not a part of their life?
But now that they are back,we are all back to our lives,and things are in place once again.I just want the world, to TRY to understand, that a mother is a mother till the end of her days, her children are more precious to her, than her life,and the depth of love is measured by our feelings for each other,which are eternal.The child's age,status,financial capability,name,or fame, is not the defining factor to a mother,because he will always be my little boy, whom I brought home from the hospital,and who used to look deep into my eyes, for everything.That was where we got our understanding.Can I, or rather should I, just forget everything we have shared,and pretend it doesn't matter to me anymore?Because it does matter,and will,till I die. May 2011.